Things I learned watching Hell’s Kitchen

Gordon Ramsay Celebrates The Opening Of His New LA Restaurant
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  • The only time you can hear word continuation used in English language is during Hell’s Kitchen
  • Food is never being served it is always “flying out” of the kitchen
  • Chefs love to talk about themselves in 3rd person
  • It is a bad sign when your meal makes the chef vomit. However that does not necessarily mean you are out of the game just yet.
  • Other chefs never dislike you because you have an attitude problem, it is because they are”threatened” by your cooking skills
  • If you ever do have the opportunity to dine in the Hell’s Kitchen never ever come when there are still plenty of chefs in the running, in all probability the only thing you will eat is the bread roles.
  • The rule is – less chefs, better food or better yet less chefs, any food.
  • Ramsay’s choice of insults – for females stupid b*tch and/or fat cow; for males stupid donkey, fat idiot
  • The loudest chef in the kitchen is not necessarily the best chef in the kitchen
  • The exception to the aforementioned rule is Gordon Ramsay
  • Ramsay loves his risottos, but at least he gave up on pigeon salad
  • Cooking is a great profession. That is if you don’t mind waking up at crack of dawn, working crazy hours and then still cleaning the kitchen when you are done well after midnight. It is also great if you do not mind being shouted at, getting burned and/or cutting your finger off once in a while.
  • If the hot appetizers do not “fly out” of the kitchen the whole dinner service is usually screwed. Or in Ramsay language – we are in the shit!
  • It is always the most demanding service ever in Hell’s Kitchen (boy those people at Fox love the drama!)
  • For all his shouting and screaming, Gordon Ramsay is nowhere near as bad as he would like you to think.
  • If you played a drinking game wherein you would have a shot every time one of the following phrases was used by Ramsay you would be drunk 15 minutes into the show

· F*cking donkey
· B*tch and/or cow
· It’s f*cking raw
· Shut it down
· I had enough
· Get out
· We are in the shit
· Concentrate

New season of Hell’s Kitchen


Image: Guardian

The new season of Hell’s Kitchen is upon us. And since a) I do love my Gordon Ramsay and b) there is no House, Lost or any other show until end of April well a girl has to get her TV kicks where she can.

The only problem is I’m not really sold on Hell’s Kitchen. I did see season 1 of British version where you had a heap of celebs (well THEY call themselves celebs but lets call a spade a spade wannabe celebs way past their prime) breaking down in tears every 5 minutes, soufflés being burned, meat being raw and even I had nightmares about the risotto – so much so in fact I have not even made an attempt to cook one since I saw the show (I can picture Gordon Ramsay spitting it out and shouting “In the bin, in the bin you f****** donkey!”).

But enough of my kitchen nightmares where was I? Yes Hell’s Kitchen. Truth be told I think the concept is good, much better then what Jamie Oliver did all those years ago. He got a bunch of lazy farts who a) did not have a clue about cooking and b) could not be arsed to do much at all (which surely defied the whole purpose of the show). At least Ramsay’s lot know a thing or two about cooking and say what you will they are ready to sweat it out.
My problem is (if you ignore the stupid dramatic music and people talking about themselves in 3rd person) that FOX is editing Ramsay into some sort of McSatan of the cooking world. And after 3 seasons it is kind of getting stale. If they wanted to portray how tense and stressful it can get in the kitchen, me thinks the viewers got the idea already. Sure he is foul mouthed and a perfectionist, but he is not that bad by far.
And does Gordon Ramsay really want to be know for the rest of his living days as this devilish persona? Surely not. In my opinion – more Kitchen Nightmares, less Hell’s Kitchen.