CH:OS:EN

Dear ladies and gents,

why hasn’t anyone told me about Chosen*? Eh?

Have you heard of it?

It’s a web series. I know. I know. And it streams on – wait for it – Crackle.

Now before you accuse me of being a silly cow who is asking you to watch some rubbish web series that doesn’t even stream on Netflix or Hulu, do hear me out.

Obviously I had to get over my snobbish tendencies, because hm… Crackle. But see Chosen, yeah? It’s surprisingly good.

Truth be told, it’s better than many (MANY!) of the shows that aired and then promptly got cancelled as mid-season replacements.

Created by Ben Ketai and Ryan Lewis, Chosen follows the story of Ian Mitchell (played by Milo Ventimiglia. Also known as that dude from Heroes. Or Gilmore Girls). So Ian is a lawyer and one day he finds a mysterious box on his doorstep. When he opens it (because OF COURSE he has to open the box! It has his name on it after all), he finds a gun and a photo of a person he needs to “expire” with a limited number of hours to get this done. So it turns out that killing a stranger is a part of a game. And he has to play. Or else.

ANYWAY. Matters do get a bit more complicated. Obvs.

But I’m telling you, Chosen is good. Plus each episode is about 20 minutes and the whole season is 6 episodes in total, so it’s more like watching a feature length movie?

Chosen has aired three seasons so far, while fourth season has been commissioned.

Do give it a go. I mean, it’s not like there is anything to watch at the moment.

* Sorry, can’t be ar*ed to spell it like they want it to be spelled. Because well…

Trailer for Chosen below

Bloodline

Lord.

I thought I was so on point with my TV knowledge.

Alas, I’m not.

First I heard of Bloodline was a couple of days ago (I thought it might have premiered while I was in UK, but no).

So anyway I’m three episodes in and I don’t know what to make of it. It’s slow. Really slow. BUT a) the cast is really good (Sissy Spacek, Sam Shepard, Kyle Chandler*, Ben Mendelsohn who is freaking brilliant, I mean – you get the jist).
And b) the bleeding thing is kinda like a Dan Brown novel. Not the subject matter. Obvs. Or the writing obvs. The writing is stellar when compared to Dan Brown.

It’s more… hm… each episode is an hour long. And it’s kinda slow. And then I get to this point and think that’s it, I’m quitting this sh*t…

And then what happens? A FREAKING GIANT CLIFFHANGER. RIGHT AT THE END.

Yes, I know. It’s a TV show, there are supposed to be cliffhangers. It’s just a bit frustrating is all.

Also re the cliffhangers? If you check the trailer below, there is usually a voice over by the aforementioned Kyle Chandler or rather his character at the end of each episode. Who keeps talking about the members of the family and how they are good people. Dude sorry to break it to you BUT good people do not cram what I presume are dead people in the trunks of their cars. Or you know, light people on fire and somesuch. (facepalm)

Anyway tl; dr.

For the love of everything that is holy – can someone tell me does Bloodline get a bit dunno, faster? Is it worth the time commitment?

*On a side note – I know Kyle Chandler was in Friday Night Lights. But does anyone remember the Homefront? That was a freaking awesome show.

Wayward Pines

Dear ladies and gents,

Wayward Pines. Have you seen it?

It is set to premiere on May 14th, but the first episode is available for streaming.

And let me tell you – it’s not bad.

It’s about a Secret Service agent Ethan Burke (played by Matt Dillon) who travels to Wayward Pines to investigate the disappearance of two of his colleagues. He gets into an accident and wakes up at the Wayward Pines hospital. And Wayward Pines is perfect. Like creepy perfect. Everything is too neat and too orderly and there are no crickets in Wayward Pines. I presume this will be important later on for whatever reason, but there you are, there are no crickets in Wayward Pines.

Anyhow, I will stop here, because I don’t want to spoil too much for you.

Wayward Pines is based on the book the Pines written by Blake Crouch. It is produced by M. Night Shyamalan. Which, I’ll be honest, didn’t fill me with confidence. Sixth Sense/Unbreakable/Signs were good. The rest of his stuff? Not so much. I was howling with laughter when I saw the Village. Meanwhile when I saw the Happening I spent most of the movie facepalming. I’m pretty sure that was not what the director or the scriptwriter intended.

But Wayward Pines intrigued me. The first episode was interesting enough for me to want to see what happens next. The cast is nothing to sneer at either. It includes Matt Dillon, Melissa Leo, Juliette Lewis and Terrence Howard (among others) and I’ll admit my logic is that surely (SURELY?) so many quality actors wouldn’t commit to a project that is utter crap? Not saying it’s impossible, just you know less probable?

I’ve read in a number of places some reviewers compared Wayward Pines with Twin Peaks.* BISH PLEASE! While I liked Wayward Pines enough, Twin freaking Peaks is a cult show for a reason.

So you know, just stop with that.

*Just checked the official Fox website. They have also drawn the Twin Peaks comparison. No. Sit down and shut up.

Anyhow trailer for the Wayward Pines is below. If you’ve seen, do let me know how you liked it.

Rob Thomas is back!

Ladies and gents,

ROB THOMAS IS BACK!

And no, I don’t mean Matchbox 20 dude.

The other Rob Thomas.

The dude who gave us Veronica Mars!

iZombie premiered the other night and I have to say I love it. Sure, I should be cautiously optimistic. I mean I love the dude’s stuff, but it does have the tendency to get cancelled before its time. However. I have thrown caution to the wind at this point.

iZombie is based on the comic book written by Chris Roberson and Michael Allred and about Liv Moore (played by Rose McIver), a young medical resident who gets infected and becomes a zombie. She gives up her medical career and becomes a coroner’s assistant so she can have access to food. Food in this case being brains. Brains with noodles in fact. I know. Gross. But who am I to judge what’s gross? You should see the stuff that has been coming out of my sinuses. Or rather you shouldn’t since it’s like something out of a Science fiction movie? And yes, am on antibiotics thankyouverymuch.

But I digress. If Liv doesn’t eat she gets dumber. If she does eat regularly she gets flashes of memories from the people whose brains she has eaten. Which comes in handy in murder investigations. She teams up with a homicide detective Clive Babinaux (played by Malcolm Goodwin) to help him solve cases. Liv and her boss Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti (played by Rahul Kohli) tell Clive Liv is psychic to explain how she knows the stuff she knows about the victims.

tl; dr

iZombie – watch it and love it! If you don’t, come back here and call me a silly cow.