Summer TV confessions of a tetchy cow

Dear ladies and gents,

last week we had a bit of a heatwave going on. Most of Europe did. We got a few days of respite where it was blessedly cool in the mornings and evenings. And even though today it was raining, another heatwave is predicted for this week (am slightly obsessed with both of the weather apps on my phone).

I do not do well in warm weather. At all. I do not understand why British people complain about theirs. MOAR RAIN PLEASE!

Can’t eat, can’t function properly, can do sh*t all apart from the bare minimum. 37°C (98.6F for our American friends) does that to me.

tl; dr

I am currently a tetchy cow, so bare that in mind.

OMG. WTF with the True Detective? I was all like True Detective started – YAY something to watch! And it’s been utter rubbish. I case you haven’t gotten round to it yet let me tell you – you aren’t missing anything. Because nothing happens. At all. I don’t understand what is the point of having this freaking great cast. And have them do nothing. But just kinda spout rubbish I could have written.

So at this point a normal person, a smart person, would just give up on TV altogether. To be fair, I have been reading loads more. But then I get annoyed at how the book ends (that’s another story altogether).

But no. Noooooooo.

I did what any not-sane person would do. I switched over to Hannibal.

Which is… I normally like Hannibal. But omg (OMG!) what is it with the freaking water/blood/whatever dripping? And it’s not only occasionally, it all. the. freaking. time. Also snails? I mean by the time they crawl to whatever the hell they are going I want to tear my hair out. Also – da f*ck with kaleidoscopic scenes?

Can I be frank?

I will be frank with you.

I don’t have an effing clue what the hell is going on. There it is, my secret is out.

Most of the time I’m just

I will tell you this much though. The fight between Jack and Hannibal? A thing of beauty.

And you know, a fight is well and good. But Jack could have saved himself a whole lot of trouble if he did one thing. Just one thing.

Threatened Hannibal with some refined sugar. That would have him running for the hills. Or curling up in a fetal position.

That’s where I’m at ladies and gents.

I will be on the balcony. Cooling off my feet and armpits respectively.

Game changers – Wayward Pines

Dear ladies and gents,

I mentioned Wayward Pines a few weeks ago.

I’ll add a page break in html now so you’ll have to click through if you want to read the rest of the post. I don’t normally do this, however…

There will be a huge ass spoiler in this post and if you haven’t seen Wayward Pines, I’d rather you didn’t hear it from me? See it unspoiled? I am aware you can google that sh*t, but I don’t want to be the one who spoils it for you? Does that make sense?

tl; dr DON’T CLICK HERE IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN WAYWARD PINES.

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Sense8 – first impressions

Dear ladies and gents,

Sense8 is available for streaming on Netflix.

Sense8 is about eight people scattered all over the globe who all of a sudden realize they communicate with each other mentally. Obvs this is a super simple summary of the storyline, things do get more complicated. But this is the jist. The series was created by Andy and Lana Wachowski and J. Michael Straczynski.

I mentioned the series briefly in my summer TV shows post.

What I don’t like:

- it’s slow. At times painfully slow. The first two episodes were a freaking slog. Sh*t all happened. But then again that’s my problem with a lot of HBO/Showtime/Netflix shows. They have the time to tell the story at their own pace. Sometimes it works (see Daredevil). And sometimes it drives me bloody mad (see Bloodline). I haven’t been driven mad as of yet.

- I was a bit worried this will turn into a Tim Kring show? You know there are all this characters and they are somehow all connected together and it makes sense for a few episodes and then it just sort of… disintegrates? That didn’t happened either.

- I am iffy on some of the concepts. I’ll preface this by saying I am biased. I saw Jupiter Ascending and was doing this for the most of the movie:

But I wanted to give this one a go. Let me give you an example without giving too much away. In the pilot Daryl Hannah gives birth to these sensates. Not like proper birth, more hm metaphysical one? So my mind immediately went to Plato and this giving-birth-to-an-idea thing? But then I was like surely (SURELY) this would be too complicated and too fancy of a concept for a TV show? Or maybe I’m just being a horrible snob? At any rate – yes, am a bit iffy on some of the concepts that crop up later on as well.

- also I expected much more freaking out over the whole I-can-mind-talk-to-people-on-the-other-side-of-the-globe thing. That and I bloody well do hope there will a pay off in the end. But that’s just me being a persnickety bish.

ALL of that said – I do like it. My mind wasn’t blown, but it’s good enough/engaging enough that I keep watching. I love that the series takes you all over the globe and that it features a truly diverse cast.

So tell me ladies and gents, has anyone seen Sense8? Any initial thoughts?

Summer TV shows

Dear ladies and gents,

as I have mentioned before, there isn’t much on at the moment. But that is about to change in a week or so when summer TV shows start airing. Down below you can find a list of some of the stuff I’ve found that *looks* interesting (looks being the operative word). I’ve used TVLine’s handy calendar to check the dates.

True Detective – returns June 21st. This season stars Colin Farrell, Rachel McAdams and Vince Vaughn. I am really curious how will the story unfold this season.

Hannibal – returns June 4th. Lord. It will be guts galore fo sure.

The Strain – returns July 12th. I forgot how effing gross the Strain is.

Royal Pains – returns June 2nd. Your summer dose of light and fluffy.

Murder in the First – returns June 10th. Murder in the First had a solid first season. The second season will deal with a new crime.

Orange Is the New Black – returns June 12th. Always solid. And I can already see sh*t all will get done that weekend.

The Last Ship – returns June 21st. I’d never thought I’d enjoy anything made by Michael Bay. But there you go. They had me at viral-infection-that-kills-almost-all-of-the-population.

New shows

Aquarius – aired already. Aquarius is produced by NBC and they have released all of the episodes at the same time. I saw the first two and it’s not bad?

The Whispers – premiere airs June 1st. It’s something about a paranormal force trying to take over the Earth by possessing kids? At least that’s how I got it. Could be great or it could disintegrate after a couple of episodes.

Sense8 – premieres June 5th on Netflix. So this was created and produced by Andy and Lana Wachowski and Michael Straczynski. Normally this would make me… pause? I mean – have you seen Jupiter Ascending? BUT. If we have learned anything at all this year is that Netflix does not produce sh*t. Also? SAYID!!!

Dark Matter – premieres June 12th. I realized I still haven’t found a replacement for BSG. So you know, I am game to give this a go.

Proof – premieres June 16th. Jennifer Beals stars as a doctor who is trying to find a proof whether there is life after death.

Killjoys – premieres June 19th. It’s about space bounty hunters you guys. Space bounty hunters! The only problem is it’s been a long (looong) while since anything made by SyFy grabbed me.

The Brink – premieres June 21st. Jack Black and Tim Robbins. That alone will make me check it out.

Mr. Robot - premieres June 24th. New summer show by the USA Network. The pilot is available for streaming already and it’s in my queue. Don’t know what to tell you to be honest – this looks interesting. But then on the other hand – I know USA Network is trying to be all edgy and sh*t, I’m just no certain it’s working.

Do let me know if I have missed anything interesting.