CH:OS:EN

Dear ladies and gents,

why hasn’t anyone told me about Chosen*? Eh?

Have you heard of it?

It’s a web series. I know. I know. And it streams on – wait for it – Crackle.

Now before you accuse me of being a silly cow who is asking you to watch some rubbish web series that doesn’t even stream on Netflix or Hulu, do hear me out.

Obviously I had to get over my snobbish tendencies, because hm… Crackle. But see Chosen, yeah? It’s surprisingly good.

Truth be told, it’s better than many (MANY!) of the shows that aired and then promptly got cancelled as mid-season replacements.

Created by Ben Ketai and Ryan Lewis, Chosen follows the story of Ian Mitchell (played by Milo Ventimiglia. Also known as that dude from Heroes. Or Gilmore Girls). So Ian is a lawyer and one day he finds a mysterious box on his doorstep. When he opens it (because OF COURSE he has to open the box! It has his name on it after all), he finds a gun and a photo of a person he needs to “expire” with a limited number of hours to get this done. So it turns out that killing a stranger is a part of a game. And he has to play. Or else.

ANYWAY. Matters do get a bit more complicated. Obvs.

But I’m telling you, Chosen is good. Plus each episode is about 20 minutes and the whole season is 6 episodes in total, so it’s more like watching a feature length movie?

Chosen has aired three seasons so far, while fourth season has been commissioned.

Do give it a go. I mean, it’s not like there is anything to watch at the moment.

* Sorry, can’t be ar*ed to spell it like they want it to be spelled. Because well…

Trailer for Chosen below

U2 busking in NYC Subway with Jimmy Fallon

Dear ladies and gents,

have you seen the video of U2 busking in the New York subway?

I’ve embedded the video for you below.

So.

Have you noticed anything? Anything that all?

Like the fact almost every single person on that platform is watching Ufreaking2 sing live through their mobile phone?

Iseriouslycannoteven.

U2 are one of the biggest bands on the planet. We can argue and disagree on many things. That they might be past it, their new stuff is not as great as their old stuff, Bono might have some w*nker-ish tendencies, whatever. But they are one of the biggest bands on the planet. Still.

I have a Facebook account. And a Twitter account. And I get the impulse to plaster a picture with Bono all over your social media, because that one “friend” you can’t stand might see it.* Bishes please! I’m not above it, is all I’m saying.

But take one picture and then put away your damn phone. Enjoy Ufreaking2 perform for you for free. Like Bono is RIGHT THERE mere meters away from you. Look at with your own eyes. And not through a freaking phone.

Jesus Christ!

So.

I have concluded two things.

a) I’m obviously old cos stuff like this annoys me.
b) We have collectively turned into a bunch of a**holes.

*On a side note – we all might do well to remember not to match our insides with everybody else’s outsides.

Wayward Pines

Dear ladies and gents,

Wayward Pines. Have you seen it?

It is set to premiere on May 14th, but the first episode is available for streaming.

And let me tell you – it’s not bad.

It’s about a Secret Service agent Ethan Burke (played by Matt Dillon) who travels to Wayward Pines to investigate the disappearance of two of his colleagues. He gets into an accident and wakes up at the Wayward Pines hospital. And Wayward Pines is perfect. Like creepy perfect. Everything is too neat and too orderly and there are no crickets in Wayward Pines. I presume this will be important later on for whatever reason, but there you are, there are no crickets in Wayward Pines.

Anyhow, I will stop here, because I don’t want to spoil too much for you.

Wayward Pines is based on the book the Pines written by Blake Crouch. It is produced by M. Night Shyamalan. Which, I’ll be honest, didn’t fill me with confidence. Sixth Sense/Unbreakable/Signs were good. The rest of his stuff? Not so much. I was howling with laughter when I saw the Village. Meanwhile when I saw the Happening I spent most of the movie facepalming. I’m pretty sure that was not what the director or the scriptwriter intended.

But Wayward Pines intrigued me. The first episode was interesting enough for me to want to see what happens next. The cast is nothing to sneer at either. It includes Matt Dillon, Melissa Leo, Juliette Lewis and Terrence Howard (among others) and I’ll admit my logic is that surely (SURELY?) so many quality actors wouldn’t commit to a project that is utter crap? Not saying it’s impossible, just you know less probable?

I’ve read in a number of places some reviewers compared Wayward Pines with Twin Peaks.* BISH PLEASE! While I liked Wayward Pines enough, Twin freaking Peaks is a cult show for a reason.

So you know, just stop with that.

*Just checked the official Fox website. They have also drawn the Twin Peaks comparison. No. Sit down and shut up.

Anyhow trailer for the Wayward Pines is below. If you’ve seen, do let me know how you liked it.

Batman vs Superman

So.

Marvel vs DC Comics? We’ve established I don’t have a dog in that fight. In fact, I grew up watching Superman. And Nolan’s Batman was my jam. I will also probably see every single Marvel movie when it hits the theaters. Because they are so bloody fun.

Anyway.

When the trailer for Batman vs Superman was leaked online I was like – oh goodie, let’s see, let’s see! (insert jumpy claps) Man of Steel was hm ok-ish? I mean, if they cut short that battle scene that lasted forfreakingever, it would have been a great movie. Just my opinion, ok?

And they had me. They had me. Come on – Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely? And then that shot of Superman’s statue? With False God graffitied all over his chest? Please, that’s some great sh*t. Sure, dark and depressing sh*t, but great sh*t.

Then two things happened.

Ben Affleck got out of the batmobile.

I mean… what the what with that chest? No, seriously? But let’s call that a personal preference what with me a being a shallow, superficial bish and move on. I’m sure Ben Affleck worked very hard on his chest.

Then the second thing happened.

“Tell me, do you bleed? You will.”

And some of this for a good measure.

Come on. COME ON!

What is that?

Unless the follow up is that Superman blows a big fat raspberry and tells Batman he can shove his bat doodahs where the sun don’t shine because he is freaking Superman and them things can’t hurt him…

and yes, I’m not holding my breath that will happen…

WHAT is that?

Lord.