To prove I’m not a curmudgeon…

Dear ladies and gents,

since I was a horrible curmudgeon about Divergent I thought I’d share a few movies I watched and loved over the last few weeks. To prove to myself I am not really a grumpy b*sh you understand.

A Long Way Down

Posters for A Long Way Down were plastered all over the tube a few months ago. Then again I have seen plenty of posters like that and in the end movies that were advertised were less than hmm… interesting.

Based on the book written by Nick Hornby A Long Way Down is an example of one of those movies that Brits do so well – warm, poignant, fun and silly, a kind of movie that lingers a while after you’ve watched it. It is about four people who have decided to kill themselves. And just happen to end up on the same rooftop at the same time. It stars Pierce Brosnan, Toni Collette, Imogen Poots, Aaron Paul and Sam Neill. The reviews were rubbish, but I loved it.

Cuban Fury

Chris O’Dowd – that should be enough. Also Chris O’Dowd dancing, hello?! Also Nick Frost, Rashida Jones and Ian McShane? Also salsa dancing! Come on!

Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel

Totes late to this one as it was released in 2009. But I loved it all the same. It is about three nerdy friends, who manage to get into a time travel adventure of epic proportions just by sitting in a pub. The movie stars Chris O’Dowd, Marc Wootton, Dean Lennox Kelly and Anna Faris.

The Stag

Just so you know the movie IS named the Stag. For the US release the movie was retitled the Bachelor Weekend. If you are thinking it might be a Hangover rip off… hm no, it is not. It’s about a group of friends who organize a stag weekend in the great outdoors and things kinda get out of hand. Not in the let’s-jam-a-Chinese-man-in-the-truck kind of way. Also not in the-Blair-Witch-Project kind of way. In a bunch-of-Irish-dudes-who-are-funny kind of way.

The movie stars Andrew Scott (yes, Moriarty!), Hugh O’Conor and Peter McDonald (who, if you have been watching Moone Boy you’ll know him as dad Moone. If you aren’t watching Moone Boy, well… I give up!)

Random thoughts – Divergent

Dear ladies and gents,

so I was watching Divergent the other night. Decided against seeing it in cinema, because well… I loved the first book. The second book was meh. I didn’t even bother with the third.

And it’s not the type of movie that I simply MUST see on the big screen. Unlike Guardians of the Galaxy. Or Avengers. Or the Hunger Games.

Be as it may – there I was watching the movie and the most random thoughts kept popping in my brain like so:

- these dauntless people, yes? What the what (WHAT THE WHAT!) with them running everywhere? I am all for getting your 10.000 steps a day, getting some cardio in and whathaveyou, but this was excessive. They like jogged all.the.freaking.time. Seriously, what is that about?

- Four, yes? NOTHING as I imagined in my head. Don’t get me wrong, Theo James is a handsome guy and all that (Kemal Pamuk what!), but he (in my opinion) lacked dunno charisma? Edginess? Something.

- Kate Winslet, yes? Good job on trying to hide her pregnancy with a folder. With A FOLDER! Come to think of it, it could have been worse. They could have made her hide her baby bump with a handbag. Also what the what with the hair? Was that a wig? It was super distracting.

- Divergent supposedly takes place in the dystopian Chicago, yes? Third most populous city in the United States? So what the what (WHAT THE WHAT) with all the white people? Ok there is ZoĆ« Kravitz. And then you have Mekhi Phifer and Maggie Q who between them appear in maybe 5 scenes altogether? You’d expect the cast would be more racially diverse and all. Seriously.

- also the dialogues? It’s like something I might have written. And that is not a compliment.

It’s official – I is grumpy b*sh *sigh*

What the what USA Network?!

USA Network does one thing well. And when I say well I mean REALLY well. Light, fun, frothy summer shows. Noone does them better than USA Network.

White Collar, Royal Pains, Suits, the now defunct Necessary Roughness, Monk and Psych, you get the gist. This is/was USA Network’s bread and butter.

Take pretty people, put them in nice clothes and gorgeous looking locations (with some to die for set design) and presto – you have a hit on your hands.

That’s why I don’t understand what the what they are trying to do with the new slew of shows.

For example – there is Graceland. Which I think was USA Network’s first foray into gritty cop show territory?

I know Graceland got renewed and all but as far as I’m concerned – gritty it ain’t

I watched their latest show Rush? Me thinks they wanted to go for House/Royal Pains hybrid of some sort?

Will Rush is a doctor to the LA’s rich and famous. People do stupid sh*t, people need to think of their image, people call Rush, pay cash and get treated, no questions asked.

The only problem being a) the main character is an arsehole and b) Tom Ellis the guy who plays him? He might be a good actor, but Hugh Laurie he ain’t. It takes serious skill to make me care about an arsehole is all I’m saying.

Satisfaction

Another new show Satisfaction is about a couple who have been married for a while. And then the husband finds out the wife is cheating on him. With an escort. Because she doesn’t feel appreciated enough? Be as it may – this one seems to look promising, but light and frothy it is not (also I *know* I’m a crusty b*sh but it kinda reeks of #firstworldproblems?)

tl; dr

If USA Network is going for edgy, dark and twisty I don’t think these two shows will cut it. They are kinda dark, but not all that deep?

And besides – what is wrong with light and frothy and fun? We all need more of that in our lives (says she after watching the Strain yesterday and dreaming about freaking worms all night (facepalm)

The Strain – grosser than Fringe?

Dear ladies and gents,

so the Strain? I think it might be even grosser than Fringe. Super and I mean SUPER gross. Even the poster was so gross Fox had to pull a number of billboards because people were complaining.

Because I’m nothing if not service-y here is how the poster looks like

:

I told you – SUPER gross!

But… BUT… for what it is – a vampire/horror drama – I have to say I enjoyed it.

It is based on the horror novel written by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan (part of a trilogy that also includes The Fall and The Night Eternal). A plane from Berlin lands at JFK airport with 200 people on board. 4 survivors. The rest are all dead. All doors sealed, all lights off. Dr. Ephraim Goodweather (played by Corey Stoll) from CDC is allowed to go in first.

And from there on out, sh*t starts hitting the fan.

This is no sparkly vampire sh*t. This is proper, albeit at times a bit cheesy, horror. And it will not be to everyone’s taste. But if you enjoy being grossed out and creeped out, if vampires are your thing, do give it a go.