Worth the money – Sicario

Dear ladies and gents,

go and watch Sicario. Like now. It is easily the best movie I saw in the last couple of years.

I do have to warn you – Sicario is not a relaxing movie. It’s more anxiety inducing if anything. Intense. Heavy. Morally ambiguous. It is not the most pleasant watch.

Remember how in Dark Knight there was this deep, deep bass pumping from the very first scene? Like the beat of the heart?

Same here.

I’ll find myself in the cinema and usually around the midpoint my attention will wander off. I’m there, but not there fully, does that make sense? But from the very first scene this movie grips you and doesn’t let go. For the full 2 hours. And not because you are trying to keep up with what the what is happening (like with let’s say Inception).

It’s about drug lords, cartels, FBI, but really the less you know, the better.

Benicio Del Toro can act. No doubt about it. But he OWNS this movie. He is that bloody good. He will punch you in the gut and pull you in on a visceral level you probably didn’t even know you had.

And can I have a hell yeah for Emily Blunt who I think did her best work with this movie? And they originally wanted a guy! Hm hello. Denis Villeneuve had to fight (!!!) with the studio executives to have Emily Blunt play the role.

As far as I’m concerned, give them all an Oscar now. This is not an Oscar bait-y movie that has one strong performance and the rest is faff. No.

Start to finish this movie is the dog’s bollocks.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Dear ladies and gents,

earlier this year when I was in the UK we went for a meal at Marks and Spencer. I had their chicken and leek pie with mashed potatoes and gravy. I freaking love that pie. Had it before, enjoyed it immensely, no problem whatsoever. But that day for whatever reason it turned me into a bloated mess.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is a bloated convulsed mess. What a freaking disappointment.

The cast was… well.

The only one who showed some personality (and some, you know, acting skills) was Armie Hammer. The rest not so much. I saw Alicia Vikander in Ex Machina and she was fine there. Here however… Pardon me, I’m not an actress and don’t know a first thing about acting. But you would *think* it would be one of the requirements to pick an accent and stick with it for the duration of the movie? Her accent was all over the place.

Henry Cavill is a good looking man. Too good looking in fact. Like a cardboard cut out? Does that make sense? And I’m sure he is a nice man (like anyone who plays WoW can’t be THAT bad), but he lacks… personality? Charisma? Something. Sure, he is nice to look at, but I don’t think that is enough. Think about Tim Roth for example. Not the best looking guy in the world. But he has that something and I’ll watch the sh*t out of any movie Tim Roth stars in. Or if we are drawing a “pretty” comparison – Matt Bomer. That man is so pretty he probably farts unicorns and angel dust. But he brings something to every single thing I have seen him in. He would have been perfect for the part. He DID this part in White Collar.

Which brings me to the main problem. Guy Ritchie. Who co-wrote the script with Lionel Wigram. And directed the movie. Now I freaking queued at midnight for a Guy Ritchie movie (Snatch in case you were wondering). And I loved it. So I’m all about Guy Ritchie. So wtf was this?

Some bits of the story made no sense whatsoever. When you combine that with the fact the movie was too long (at least 30 minutes too long and I’m being generous here)… well. It was long and bloated and made no sense.

The movie was pretty to look at, I’ll give Guy Ritchie that. Just like Henry Cavill. But that doesn’t mean that is enough.

tl; dr

If you want to watch a funny spy flick see Spy or Kingsman: The Secret Service.

In the movies

Dear ladies and gents,

over the last 2 weeks I have managed to see two movies. Short reviews of both below.


I like Melissa McCarthy a lot. Loved her in Bridesmaids, loved her in St. Vincent, LOVED the Heat. Identity Theft? Tammy? Not so much.

I saw the trailer for Spy and I laughed a lot. And I have to say, it doesn’t disappoint. Comedy in my opinion is one of the hardest things to get right. What tickles me might not tickle anyone else. And vice versa. For example – Hangover (and all the subsequent installments)? I don’t think I laughed once. I just couldn’t understand what the fuss was about. The worldwide gross? $467 million. So what do I know?

But Spy is funny. Hilariously funny. Laugh yourself into a belly ache funny. And everyone involved was bloody brilliant – Melissa McCarthy, Rose Bryne, Miranda Hart, Allison Janney. Although to be fair – I knew these ladies can do good comedy. Jason Statham on the other hand? Didn’t have a clue he could be funny. But there you go. Also Jude Law was in it? It should tell you something about the level of performance here when Jude Law was more a blip on the screen. I was all like – oh hey Jude Law you are in this too whatever. And Jude Law is not a bad actor. So if you need cheering up or if you want to treat your mum to a good movie she might enjoy or if you want a break from all the lets-blow-up-everything-to-bits blockbusters, Spy is your movie.

Which brings me to…

Jurassic World

I feel I need to preface this by saying a few things:

- I really love Chris Pratt, I think he is funny and I’m delighted he has 3 huge hits under his belt.
- I am aware that Jurassic World is a monster of a movie worldwide (all pun intended).
- I really love Jurassic Park.

All that said – I disliked Jurassic World. I didn’t hate it, I just thought it was meh. To a point where I kinda actively wished that dinosaurs ate all the humans because omg-what-the-effing-f*ck-where-the-effing-humans-thinking? I’m sure it makes more sense in my head.

The jokes were lame. So lame. I was side-eyeing that sh*t so hard. But there was a bunch of “bros” sitting in the cinema in front of us who were laughing uproariously throughout the movie. Hardest of all I might add when Bryce Dallas Howard was running around in heels (which… UGH don’t even get me started on that damsel in distress sh*t).

One of bros is a movie critic (!!!) So surely (surely!!!) he saw the first movie. Surely he realized it was far superior to this one. Alas. I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t enjoy it as the bros in front of me. Then I got home, googled some reviews and obvs I’m in the minority here.

Jurassic World is a summer blockbuster. Or rather the blockbuster of this summer. But in my opinion it lacks all the oomph the original movie had. Also? Lame. And I freaking love dinosaurs.

But what do I know.

I have since then re-watched Jurassic Park. And it’s still awesome.

The Martian trailer

Dear ladies and gents,

have you read Andy Weir’s The Martian? I freaking loved that book.

It’s about Mark Watney, an astronaut who is presumed dead after a mission on Mars goes to sh*t. After a storm hits, his team members run for their lives and being they journey back to Earth thinking that Mark is dead. Only he is not. He is stranded on Mars with minimal supplies and now he has an ultimate make-it-work moment in order to survive.

And he really makes it work. Also it’s a freaking funny book (yes, you’d never think a tale of survival would be so funny).

At any rate, it’s a great book. BUT… as I’ve read it, I kept thinking how can they possibly turn it into a movie?

Ridley Scott did. Which. Hm have you seen Prometheus? The first hour was so bloody good. And then it was not.

But this looks dare I say it – promising?