By Grabthar’s Hammer

Alan Rickman died. And I’m terribly upset about it. If you ask me for a logical or reasonable explanation why – I can’t give you one. Hell – I’d take half sane explanation at this point. David Bowie was bad enough. But this hit me where it hurt. I know I’m not the only one. Usually when I feel extra bad I clean. But I did that already. So I’ll make myself useful, shall I?

For many of the younger generations Rickman = Snape. And I get it. After seeing the first movie, every single Harry Potter book I’ve read from that point on, in my mind eye’s Rickman = Snape. But Rickman was so good in so many things, it would be a shame not to see all the other things he did. So if you are planning a Rickman marathon, give some of these a watch.

Funny stuff

If you can’t bare to watch anything sad, here are some of the fun films he did.

Blow Dry – it’s one of those small movies the British do so well. Blow Dry is about a small town of Keighley, that becomes the host to the British Hairdressing Championship. It’s naff I won’t lie, but it’s also sweet and heartwarming and witty. It also stars Bill Nighy, Natasha Richardson and Rachel Griffiths.

Galaxy Quest – if you haven’t seen Galaxy Quest, by Grabthar’s Hammer get on it – pronto! A spoof about a cast of a sci-fi show that have to play for real once the aliens need their help. Another good movie that will make you giggle.

Dogma – I might not be super enthusiastic about Kevin Smith. But I LOVED Dogma. And Rickman played Metatron, the voice of God. Yes, let’s not even go there because icannoteven at the moment. But this will never not be funny:

Die Hard – because obvs. Hans Gruber, the best villain ever. I’ve noticed when I’m sad, I don’t mind sh*t being blown up, you know?

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves – another villain-y role, but come on, it’s worth it for this line alone:

Now for all of you who are made of sterner stuff and who can watch sad(ish) stuff when you are not in your happy place:

Sense and Sensibility – if you are a Jane Austen fan, you have probably seen this. If you are not, give it a watch, Rickman is absolutely wonderful as Colonel Brandon.

Snow Cake – I don’t even know what year it was when I saw Snow Cake. I remember I couldn’t sleep and was switching the channels (I use TV as a sleeping aid sometimes). At any rate – there was Alan Rickman. Needless to say, I didn’t fall asleep and watched the film to the end. It’s a story about an ex-convict who ends up in a car accident that kills the girl who hitchhiked a ride from him. He visits the girl’s mother, but it turns out she is autistic (the mother is played by Sigourney Weaver). Such a beautiful, nuanced, lovely movie.

Truly, Madly, Deeply – Truly, Madly, Deeply is about Nina (played by Juliet Stevenson), a woman who is bereft after her boyfriend Jamie dies. But he comes back as a ghost in an effort to help her move on. You will weep while watching this. Copiously. Please bear that in mind and have tissues ready.

And there you are. Yes, Rickman = Snape. Always. But also so much more.

Worth the money – Sicario

Dear ladies and gents,

go and watch Sicario. Like now. It is easily the best movie I saw in the last couple of years.

I do have to warn you – Sicario is not a relaxing movie. It’s more anxiety inducing if anything. Intense. Heavy. Morally ambiguous. It is not the most pleasant watch.

Remember how in Dark Knight there was this deep, deep bass pumping from the very first scene? Like the beat of the heart?

Same here.

I’ll find myself in the cinema and usually around the midpoint my attention will wander off. I’m there, but not there fully, does that make sense? But from the very first scene this movie grips you and doesn’t let go. For the full 2 hours. And not because you are trying to keep up with what the what is happening (like with let’s say Inception).

It’s about drug lords, cartels, FBI, but really the less you know, the better.

Benicio Del Toro can act. No doubt about it. But he OWNS this movie. He is that bloody good. He will punch you in the gut and pull you in on a visceral level you probably didn’t even know you had.

And can I have a hell yeah for Emily Blunt who I think did her best work with this movie? And they originally wanted a guy! Hm hello. Denis Villeneuve had to fight (!!!) with the studio executives to have Emily Blunt play the role.

As far as I’m concerned, give them all an Oscar now. This is not an Oscar bait-y movie that has one strong performance and the rest is faff. No.

Start to finish this movie is the dog’s bollocks.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Dear ladies and gents,

earlier this year when I was in the UK we went for a meal at Marks and Spencer. I had their chicken and leek pie with mashed potatoes and gravy. I freaking love that pie. Had it before, enjoyed it immensely, no problem whatsoever. But that day for whatever reason it turned me into a bloated mess.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is a bloated convulsed mess. What a freaking disappointment.

The cast was… well.

The only one who showed some personality (and some, you know, acting skills) was Armie Hammer. The rest not so much. I saw Alicia Vikander in Ex Machina and she was fine there. Here however… Pardon me, I’m not an actress and don’t know a first thing about acting. But you would *think* it would be one of the requirements to pick an accent and stick with it for the duration of the movie? Her accent was all over the place.

Henry Cavill is a good looking man. Too good looking in fact. Like a cardboard cut out? Does that make sense? And I’m sure he is a nice man (like anyone who plays WoW can’t be THAT bad), but he lacks… personality? Charisma? Something. Sure, he is nice to look at, but I don’t think that is enough. Think about Tim Roth for example. Not the best looking guy in the world. But he has that something and I’ll watch the sh*t out of any movie Tim Roth stars in. Or if we are drawing a “pretty” comparison – Matt Bomer. That man is so pretty he probably farts unicorns and angel dust. But he brings something to every single thing I have seen him in. He would have been perfect for the part. He DID this part in White Collar.

Which brings me to the main problem. Guy Ritchie. Who co-wrote the script with Lionel Wigram. And directed the movie. Now I freaking queued at midnight for a Guy Ritchie movie (Snatch in case you were wondering). And I loved it. So I’m all about Guy Ritchie. So wtf was this?

Some bits of the story made no sense whatsoever. When you combine that with the fact the movie was too long (at least 30 minutes too long and I’m being generous here)… well. It was long and bloated and made no sense.

The movie was pretty to look at, I’ll give Guy Ritchie that. Just like Henry Cavill. But that doesn’t mean that is enough.

tl; dr

If you want to watch a funny spy flick see Spy or Kingsman: The Secret Service.