• Also posh people have their newspapers ironed.

• Harbingers of doom

• Mr. Bates cannot catch a break. I don’t know what the man did in previous life but it must have been some bad shit.

• There are people who do not understand the concept of weekend. Bless.

• Telephones are instruments of torture.

• It is perfectly acceptable to conduct illicit affairs with dashing Turkish diplomats. That is as long as none finds out about it.

• If the dashing Turkish diplomat decides to kick the bucket (being the inconsiderate foreigner and all, no Englishman would dream of dying in someone else’s home) just transfer him back to his room. None will be much the wiser (and aren’t you lucky to be posh? You can get the maids to do it with you)

• If by any chance the word gets about you had an affair with a dashing Turkish diplomat, fret not, there is a solution – one can always go to Italy because there you can always find an Italian who is not too picky.

• Posh ladies aren’t allowed to have opinions. Not until they are married anyway. Then their husband tells them what their opinions are.

• If you are a woman, it is your right to be as contrary as you like.

Image: BBC.com

• Did you know there are 243 types of tobacco ash?

• There is no worse fate then being bored.

• There is no worse fate then being boring and/or being surrounded by boring people.

• If you are bored it is not advised to suffer in misery. It is mandatory to keep shouting at people as often as possible “Don’t be boring” (which I happened to be exposed to a good while back and it is not amusing. My heart goes out to Watson)

• Solar system? Earth revolving around the sun? Not really important.

• How to appear taller? Wear a good coat and have a short friend.

• Ms Hudson? She is not a house keeper.

• There is such a thing as a consulting detective.

• There is such a thing as a consulting criminal. And even though I loved Holmes ever since I was little itsy bitsy part of me thinks being a consulting criminal might be a tad bit more fun?

• You never ever turn your back on a boomerang. Never ever.

• How to check if person has a dog – look for dog hairs obvs. However if the dog hairs are located lower part of the body only it’s a small breed dog.

• There is such a thing as rabbits that glow in the dark.

• Need the police? Find a gun and shoot in the air. Much faster that way you see.

• Benedict Cumberbatch? Hot. Really, really hot. You just need to get over the pretentious name. But yes, hot.

• You know you have a hit show on your hands when even readers of Daily Fail sorry Mail debate what exactly happened

let me wish you and yours happy, healthy and prosperous 2012! I hope you managed to survive the holidays with your sanity intact. Please let me a share a few TV shows that have kept me occupied over the last few weeks. Do let me know what you have been watching, just in case I might have missed something great.

The Layover

Anthony Bourdain is back with more food, what’s not to like? The premise is that he goes to different major cities and in a short time span  (somewhere between 24 and 48 hours) gives you a lowdown on any given city you might find yourself in. I like the format, I like the useful information he provides and the first episode about Singapore made me want to visit something rotten.

Downton Abbey

I have to admit Downton Abbey made for some really nice and cozy holiday watching. It has drama, it has intrigue and it has funny quips courtesy of Dame Maggie Smith, what’s not to love? I still haven’t caught up entirely (started on season 2) but our American readers might be interested to know second season premieres on PBS on January 8th.

Sherlock

Look I’ll be the first to admit I turned my nose when I heard of Sherlock. I mean a modern version? Blasphemy! I’ve read all the novels when I was little and obviously got a tad bit attached. However Sherlock is not just good telly, it’s exceptionally good telly. And I would rate the last episode (A Scandal in Belgravia) as the best one yet. In part it is down to great cast, but also Steven Moffat wrote the episode. If you are being a snobbish bish like I was and refuse to watch it, please give it a try – you will not be disappointed.

Leverage

I professed my affection for Leverage plenty of times. And I still like it, it’s funny, the cast is great and it is just irreverent enough to be enjoyable. Plus you have got to appreciate an American series that actually airs during the holidays and doesn’t go on hiatus.

Honorable mention

Ab Fab

Now let me preface this by saying I do love Eddie and Patsy. And while I thought the Christmas special was good, I didn’t think it was exceptional. It was funny yes, but I just… I don’t know maybe they need to get their groove back a bit?

unlike their American counterparts British TV networks go all out during the holidays. And when I say all out – I mean ALL out. New shows, old shows, specials, mini-series, TV movies, there is something for everyone. Down below is a list of shows that will air during the holidays. I do hope you will find something you’ll enjoy.

Absolutely Fabulous (Dec 25th; BBC)

No explanation need – Eddy and Patsy are back. Here is another sneak peek

Sherlock Holmes (Jan 1st; BBC)

Cumberbatch is wearing a sheet. Well… hello there!

Great Expectations (Dec 25th; BBC)
The adaptation of Charles Dickens novel the series stars Gillian Anderson, Ray Winstone and David Suchet.

The Borrowers (Dec 26th, BBC)

Based on a book written by Mary Norton The Borrowers is about tiny people who live under the floorboards in your home and survive on scraps. Stars Christopher Eccleston AND Mr. Fry.

The Gruffalo Child (Dec 25th; BBC)

Another children’s story this time based on a book written by Julia Donaldson and featuring voices of Robbie Coltrane, Rob Brydon, Helena Bonham Carter, John Hurt and James Corden.

Dr. Who (Dec 25th; BBC)

Please, what’s Christmas without Doctor Who?

The Royal Bodyguard (Dec 26th; BBC)

The Royal Bodyguard marks David Jason’s return to comedy.

Lapland (Dec 24th; BBC)

Lapland is a comedy drama series about the Lewis family who make a trip to Lapland to search for Santa and all other things Christmassy. But it is not so easy to leave your troubles behind. I couldn’t find a separate trailer but you can get a sneak peek in this BBC trailer below.

Raymond Blanc’s Christmas Feast (Dec 18th,; BBC)

I’m not saying I will be trying to attempt to cook any of these complicated dishes but you know… I love cooking shows. Plus it’s nice to see Adam again.

Downton Abbey (Dec 25th; ITV)

I love Downton Abbey so much, but I have been trying to pace myself and leave something for Christmas. The special will have to wait because I need to catch up. Hence I haven’t looked at the preview, but you can find it below.

Agatha Christie’s Poirot (Dec 26th; ITV)

Poirot returns and this story is based on the novel Clocks.

Just Henry (Dec 18th; ITV)

Just Henry is based on a book written by Michelle Magorian. Henry is a boy whose father died during World War II. When his medal is posted home Henry decides to investigate what he led to his father’s death. For the life of me I couldn’t find a trailer for the show but you can get more details at the link above.

saw this on Twitter yesterday. That is all.

I know it can be easy to hate the holiday (especially when you can hear the Christmas jingles in the shops at the beginning of November). It can get really old, really fast. But I have grown to like the holidays over the last few years – the food is great and plentiful, there is plenty of time to read, watch telly, take a long walk, see friends and as far as the family matters go, well I’ve found that either some alcohol or a herbal remedy can be helpful (mind you, do not mix the two together).

But there is one thing that is sure to perk up even the grumpiest of curmudgeons this year. Because this year on Christmas day Patsy and Edwina are making their return.

How can you not love them bishes?

Down below you can find the sneak preview that aired on Graham Norton’s show. Don’t they just get better with age?

down below you can find a list of few new British shows that you catch up on this November (or what is left of November). As you can see there is crime, there is drama, there is a documentary and there is Jamie Oliver so I hope you will find a new favorite.

The Jury – The Jury is the latest legal/drama/crime offering from ITV and this is the second season (believe it or not Gerard Butler stared in first season). The story centers around a high profile murder trial (or rather a re-trial) and 12 jurors who have to decide whether the accused man did or did not kill three women a few years ago. I found it compelling enough to tune in and this is the type of series ITV does really well so it is definitely worth the watch.

This is Jinsy – now This is Jinsy you will either love or hate. Because it is rather bizarre. And surreal. But it does have its funny moments. It was originally produced for BBC but now it is airing on Sky. This is Jinsy is about residents of Jinsy island (all 791 of them) who are being monitored by Arbiter Maven and Operative Sporall from the Great Tower and a system of tessellators (includes video cameras/slot for paying fines/pills dispensers respectively). As I said I think it is an acquired taste.

Top Boy – Top Boy is a Channel 4 mini series and a story about a group of young lads living on at Summerhouse housing estate in Hackney. Because they are so marginalized they have turned to gangs and drug dealing to get a sense they belong somewhere, anywhere. Rather grim but worth the watch.

Death in Paradise – a BBC production Death in Paradise is about detective Richard Poole (played by Ben Miller), a London police officer who is sent to Caribbean island of Saint Marie to investigate the death of detective who died at the mansion of the local aristocrat. After that murder is solved Poole stays at the island as the new detective. The only thing is he is not that into sea. Or sand. Or the heat.

Spy – Spy is another comedy series for Sky about a man called Tim (played by Darren Boyd) who is stuck in a dead end job and rather miserable. In a bid to impress his 9-year-old son he decides to apply for a job thinking it is for data entry with the government. However it turns out after he gets the job that the job doesn’t really involve data entry at. It does involve being an MI-5 spy.

Frozen Planet – if you love a good documentary you will love (loooooove!) Frozen Planet. It is produced by BBC and narrated by David Attenborough (the perfect combination really). It is about Arctic and Antarctic, the change of seasons in the region, the wildlife and the changes and challenges the region is facing due to the climate change. The camera work is unbelievable, the series is informative and educational and interesting. AND Blu-ray is out in UK on December 8th (which would make for a perfect Christmas gift is all I say).

Jamie’s Great Britain – you know I am more than willing to watch anything Jamie Oliver dishes out. And this is no exception. In this Channel 4 series Jamie travels all across UK in search for some new ideas and inspiration and to cook up some of UK’s most favorite dishes.

this is not a proper teaser trailer, it is a part of the trailer for all the upcoming BBC programs. But you know we love Sherlock around these parts so yes I totes squealed a little.

The second series will include A Scandal in Belgravia, The Hounds of Baskerville and The Reichenbach Fall. The Hound of Baskervilles was one of the first Arthur Conan Doyle novels that I’ve read and it scared me shitless. In my defense I was in primary school at the time. But then when I was a bit older I’ve read Cujo so I totally forgot about the hound.

Anyhow I digress. The series should hit the screens at the beginning of 2012. Oh and if you watch very carefully you might recognize another person we love to see on our screens as well. Yes you’ll be able to see Mr. Fry in this.

And on a sidenote – the second trailer for Sherlock Holmes the movie is out. There is no Mr. Fry in this one.

Image: BBC.com

Dear readers,

I think out of all the pilots I have seen so far I liked the Fades the most (I’m still waiting to see Alcatraz and keeping my fingers and toes crossed it’s good). If you like horrors? You’ll love it. If you like suspense? You’ll love it. And if you like anything that BBC dishes out, you’ll love it.

For the sake of comparison let’s establish a scale. On this scale Fringe would be scary gross. As in ewww that was disgusting and you can’t really eat while watching it. It would be followed by Supernatural which would be scary creepy gross. As in ew that was disgusting and you can’t really eat while watching it interspersed with some seriously dark moments and creepy shit.

With me so far?

And then you have the Fades. Ew that was disgusting and you can’t really eat while watching interspersed with some seriously dark moments and creepy shit and holy-shit-what-just-happened. Scary gross creepy but good. Really, REALLY good.

The Fades is about a teen boy Paul (played by Iain de Caestecker) who starts having nightmares. The nightmares are so horrid that Paul starts to wet the bed. And to make matters worse his nightmares start coming true. AND he starts seeing the dead. As in Sixth Sense I-can-see-dead-people kinda way. These deads or as they are known the Fades are spirits that have not ascended. They can’t be seen or touched (well apart from few people who have the ability to see them). And since they have not gone to wherever they were supposed to go and got stuck on Earth, they have become bitter, vengeful and decided to take out the human race. To make matters even worse there is a new kind of Fade around, one which is part spirit, part body and can physically hurt humans.

So here we have Paul who is a bit of a non-entity at his school, is 17, has nightmares and wets his bed and thinks he is completely mental because he is seeing things. It sucks to be Paul, I tell you. But once truth is revealed… well it’s difficult not to feel bad for him. On the plus side he stops wetting the bed, so there’s that.

I love the Fades. It has elements of horror, suspense, it is relatively fast paced so there is never a dull moment (considering it’s a BBC show that lasts an hour) and while you probably have never heard of any of the actors, I think the casting is spot on. The dialogue is sharp and fresh and I love (LOVE) exchanges between Paul and his best friend Mac (played brilliantly by Daniel Kaluuya). I also appreciate the fact we were introduced into the mythology of the series in a way that wasn’t patronizing – as in our viewers are idiots lets repeat things three times in order for them to get it (which… well some American shows could a take a leaf out of BBC book is all I’m saying).

So yes, if you love Supernatural, you will love the Fades. And if you see it and think it’s crap you can come here and call me a silly cow.

For some additional reading you can check out Jack Thorne’s (writer of the Fades) post on BBC’s TV blog, it gives an interesting insight on the process of writing and how you need to write crap and fail in order to produce something that is good. And if you have ever written anything I think you’ll find yourself nodding in agreement a lot.

But I digress. Check out the Fades trailer below (ignore the subtitles, I embeded this one because it was longer).

leave it to Brits to make any old thing look interesting. Not only interesting, but hilariously funny too. I will do my new-British-shows-in-October post but I thought you might be interested in one of these below. Because trust me, funny and interesting doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Come Dine With Me – I talked about my love for Come Dine With Me already. Contestants can be a bit of a hit and miss because some of them can be vile (don’t get me wrong it’s not about them getting sloshed as they do that on the regular, that can be funny. It just is that some of them are unbearably horrible), it is all about Dave Lamb’s commentary. You’ll piss your pants I promise you. You can check the trailer here (because Channel 4 still refuses to let people embed their trailers, seriously?!)

Grand Designs – the show is hosted by Kevin McCloud and usually features people who are doing some sort of complicated design project and the series follows their progress. For example in the episode I watched a couple was converting old life-boat station into a home. Or another episode was about a couple who were converting an old barn into their new home. The thing is they wanted the house to be eco-friendly, sustainable and husband could only manage the construction work during time off. Which you know, fair enough. But they are living in a caravan next to the barn for the duration. That would drive me insane. But I knew they were a bit batty when the wife meditated on how the house will look like. In the old barn. With rain dripping on her head. Because the roof was ripped out. One person’s nightmare, other person’s dream project. Definitely worth the watch. Trailer available here.

Country House Rescue – oh I love me some Country House Rescue. The series is hosted by Ruth Wilson, an experienced hotelier, who travels all across the UK and helps owners of stately homes who are usually up to their eyeballs in debt. Obviously I don’t have a clue about what does running a stately home entail, but it does seem frightfully expensive. So Ms Wilson comes in and tries to help the owners with some fresh ideas on how to utilize the property, organize events etc to start building revenue. The thing is… these owners? More often than not absolutely batty. Edit – I’ve just checked on Wikipedia and Ruth Wilson will no longer host Country House Rescue.

The Great British Bake Off – this series has proven to be a ratings hits for BBC. It features a number of amateur bakers who test their skills in making cakes, pastries and bread and compete for the title of Britain’s Best Amateur Baker. I love to bake so of course this is a must see TV for me. I just might (might being the operative word) try to test my skills and make macaroons one day. And I mean… just check out the clip below.