Dear ladies and gents,
I have mentioned this before, but I grew up on a steady diet of British comedy. If there ever was a comedy that ruled them all it was Only Fools and Horses. If you haven’t watched it, all I can say – you lucky, lucky devil you. And what are you waiting for? It is so funny, you’ll bust your spleen laughing. And even though the first episode ever aired in 1981, all these years later, the show is still relevant.
Down below is the list of things I learned watching Only Fools and Horses. It is by no means a definitive list, so feel free to share your contributions in the comments.
- he who dares wins. You know, eventually.
- in case you were wondering – any and all French phrases Del Boy is using? Wrong.
- did you know that they have moved the bit on the side? Well there you go. And neither did Rodney.
- rule of thumb before you go to a nightclub – it might look good on the outside, but that’s what the Christians said of the Colosseum.
- in case you were wondering – no, you can’t smoke astroturf.
- Del Boy’s and Rodney’s mum said a lot (A LOT) on her deathbed.
- it is possible to give your arse a headache. Also to sit down and keep your brains warm.
- Trigger’s dad died a couple of years before he was born. Yes, took me a second too.
- it is possible to have a black belt in origami. That one took me a second.
- there is a karaoke version of Mozart’s Concerto No.5 in D-Minor.
- alternatives to the sentence “during the war” – “during the 1939 – 1945 conflict with Germany”
- Rodney’s trouble is he insists on thinking.
- it might not be the best idea to sell Trigger a computer. He is still struggling with the light switches.
- if you might by chance sink a aircraft carrier, make sure to have your excuse ready. Like that the said aircraft carrier was at battle stations and had no lights on. Obvs if the incident happens in broad daylight, you are kinda screwed. So yes, it is possible to miss 42 thousand tons of steel. In broad daylight. Because you aren’t close enough.
- mark of a good salesman – you can sell a black cat to a witch.
- in case you were wondering – no, you can’t get the Dukes of Hazzard on a microwave oven.
- it’s Spanner Ballet and Duram Duram. Well who bloody knew?
- if you are wanted by the authority and you go on the run, make sure to bring a tin opener with you. Because desperate men on the run do not pop home to borrow the tin opener.
- how to know if your overcoat is made out of genuine camel hair? It will have a big lump in the back.
- the only hole Uncle Albert hasn’t fallen in is the black hole of Calcutta.
- wally, plonker, pranny, git, dipstick – all terms of endearment really.
- Rodney would never make it as a prostitute. He can’t give it away, let alone flog it.