Dear ladies and gents,
a couple of weeks ago I was in the UK. As we were snacking on Ben and Jerry’s All or Nut-ting (so delish!) and Sainsbury’s Pavlova (OMG SO freaking GOOD!)
…we watched some TV. For research purposes obvs *cough*
We started watching MasterChef: Professionals. I’ll be honest – I’m not a huge fan. Sure they create some wonderful stuff and it’s all fine and dandy, but it just gets a bit repetitive after a while. Oh let’s smear some sauce on the plate! Oh let’s make some chutney/puree (from parsnip of all things! Blech!) Oh let’s stuff something in a blast chiller! Bah.
But what I don’t understand is this guy:
That ladies and gents is Gregg Wallace. He is introduced as a professional diner. Hm ok. I missed that first bit of the episode so I kept asking but who is this guy? Is he a food critic? A cook book writer? If it’s not obvious I am blonde.
So we asked our British friend (waves at Jo what the what with this Wallace guy? Who is he? So she patiently explained he was a green grocer and he also hosted Veg Talk. In case you are wondering – it’s a radio show where they talk about vegetables.
So this is the sum of his duties:
- makes faces
- calls time
- asks daft questions
- says something is delicious
- says something “doesn’t work for him” (which roughly translates it tastes like sh*t)
Anyway – if he decides to leave MasterChef at some point, I swear I will pitch myself to BBC.
I have already started practicing (much to annoyance of my friends).
I keep shouting 20 minutes left at random. Also surely you can say something different than just oh this is delicious or this doesn’t work for me. I thought something along the lines oh this tastes divine or this will give me the poops? Obvs am still working on that. Also – I have hair? A cheap shot? Yes. But also true.
But seriously. SERIOUSLY.