Dear ladies and gents,
let me tell you about last week.
Last Sunday in my infinite blond wisdom (read stupidity) I have decided to paint the bathroom. Sure, I knew it will take a while and I could only do it after work and lets ignore the fact I don’t even paint my nails let alone any walls all that often but surely it was doable. I can do this. I can.
So let me tell you how it went:
On Sunday I was a bit sickly and headachey from the fumes but it was nothing some ibruprofen couldn’t help.
On Monday it took me like an hour to cover everything and then about 3 hours to do the base paint.
On Monday night/Tuesday morning I woke up because my arm hurt – pardon my French – like a bitch.
On Tuesday evening I wanted to curl up in a fetal position and die because it was that point when a) you cannot understand what on Earth possessed you to actually do this and b) it seemed like there is no end in sight.
On Wednesday I was cursing like a fisherman’s wife and bitterly regretted the fact I wasn’t born in a parallel Harry Potter universe where I could just use my wand, cast a spell and have the bathroom done (although knowing my luck even in this parallel universe I would have been born a muggle). Also I managed to tip over about half of pot of paint all over myself.
On Thursday I almost fell off the ladder. But the end was near.
On Friday when the time arrived to clean up and mop up and put everything in place I was ready to weep the tears of joy because I was so happy I could toss the roller and just clean. Because cleaning? Easy. Painting? Ugh. And if you want to scare me? Just show me a roller. I will run away screaming.
But it’s done and it looks fine. Just fine.
What does this have to do with television?
At some point last week I saw a trailer for new BBC Two dramas and it featured Cumberbatch. He stars in Parade’s End (based on the novels by Ford Madox Ford), some World War I costume drama and he plays some buttoned up Englishman with a bitch of a wife or whathaveyou (you can check the trailer below).
Ladies and gents – the moral of this story is:
1. Hire a painter if you can and spare yourself.
2. There is nothing Cumberbatch won’t make marginally better. Me thinks it’s the odd face. Watching Leverage made me feel a bit better too.
So you know, these are my recommendations if you find yourself in your own DIY hell.