Prometheus – a review

Image: 20th Century Fox via

Dear ladies and gents,

I loved Prometheus. Well… I loved the first hour. If you haven’t had the chance to see Prometheus, this review will be spoiler-ish so you might want to steer clear until you have seen the movie.

I’ll preface this by saying I’m not a Sci-Fi nut. I enjoy it but I’m not crazy about it. I will admit I expected more. Oh please – this movie was teased like nobody’s business, it was difficult to go in and have no expectations whatsoever.

So the good bits – visually movie is stunning, the world they have built, suffice to say it will blow your mind. And when you combine that with impressive cast (Fassbender – I like me some Irish and I might be biased but he was really good), great special effects and storyline (at least for the first hour) it is very, very difficult not to get sucked in.

Them were the good bits.

As for the bad bits – after an hour or so, the storyline just sort of disintegrates. It’s like they took the handbook of Sci-Fi clich├ęs and just piled it on because they ran out of ideas. For the life of me I don’t understand what happened, first hour was a delight to watch. And say what you want about Lindelof but the dude can (usually) tell a great story.

To give an example – two of the guys from the crew get left behind at the alien structure and they have to wait for the storm to pass until they can get back to Prometheus.

So what would any normal person do? Go mucking about, poking and prodding until snake/octopus like creature attacks you. Not only that but this same normal person gives you blow-by-blow account of what this snake/octopus like creature is doing to him. (How do I know? I had to close my eyes for a bit. See – I like me some calamari. And I would like to continue eating it without thinking it might try to chew on my innards. Hence the eyes closed). But yes, possibly the scene might have had more of an impact if the attacked normal person didn’t shout out everything as a football pundit. Come on!

As for the whole Darwinism vs we-are-descendants-of-aliens debate (I know there is a term for the theory but can’t be arsed to look it up), is this really something new?

Further more I find it difficult to understand the motivation behind Noomi Rapace’s character. Call me a cynical bish but so you found these Engineers. And you found out our DNA matches. One would think that would be enough but noooo she has to know why – why did they create us and why did they want to kill us?

And what did she get for her troubles? Let’s see – your boyfriend gets infected. Then this same infected boyfriend impregnates you with an alien baby. Then the boyfriend dies. Then you have to perform an abortion on yourself because it is an alien baby after all. Then you almost die in the alien attack and end up roaming the Universe with a humanoid robot.

We can argue she had nothing left to lose but do you REALLY still need to know why? Maybe because they can? *sheesh*

Another gripe and I promise I’m done. This is nitpicking on my part and I’m a horrible bish but – I love Idris Elba. And not only because he is nice to look at. The guy is a talented, versatile actor.

Whose bloody idea was it to make him talk with an American accent like that?! It’s not like he is not capable of doing a good American accent (see The Wire, The Office). The space cowboy stuff (because that is exactly how he sounded like – a cowboy in space) was just… it made me cringe and die a little inside.

And there you have it dear ladies and gents. Not that my opinion makes a bit of a difference but yes go and see Prometheus, it is worth seeing on a big screen. Just bear in mind – the good bits are spectacularly good and the bad bits are spectacularly bad. Or at least that was my impression.

So tell me dear ladies and gents, have you seen Prometheus? And if so, am I totally off the mark here?

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