How to lose your appetite – 9 shows that will put you off your food
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Dear faithful readers,
I’m not really the squeamish type. Honestly I’m not. I watched when a friend of mine had her mole removed. With a scalpel. See – not squeamish! But even I am not capable of watching something disgusting and eating at the same time. Can’t be done. And yesterday I was watching True Blood (I am way behind) and after one vampire too many exploded and there was vampire goo all over the floor… well… it put me right off my doughnut. So not ok (especially since I was just getting my doughnut groove back after the food poisoning).
I thought why not do something useful and compile a list of shows that you should watch without reaching for any food stuff. It goes without saying some of these clips are rather unsavory so you have been warned.
True Blood – I have already mentioned True Blood and how it put me off my doughnuts. Now I know it was sometimes gross to begin with (well it is about vampires) but introducing Maryann, the maenad last season did not help matters any. All that pulling the heart out of people’s chest? So unbecoming. And while before we would get maybe one exploding vampire every five episodes now it seems to be a regular occurence. It’s just icky. And gooey. And gross. See what I mean?
Supernatural – I love the Winchester boys and it is well documented on Couchslobs. But what with demons and demon’s blood, ghosts, vampires and the other assorted monsters we have seen a fair share of grossness over the last five seasons of Supernatural. This scene from season finale comes to mind.
Dexter – if you get squeamish around blood then you should definitely give Dexter a miss. TV’s favorite killer is a blood splatter analyst after all. And there has been a lot of blood. So much blood in fact that I didn’t even register all the chopped up bits and pieces Dexter’s arch rivals left all over the place. That being said – Dexter’s opening credits still make me hungry.
Fringe – oh don’t even get me started on Fringe! But I have come to realize anything Walter Bishop finds cool, interesting and/or fascinating will either give me the heebie jeebies or make me slightly nauseated.
Bottom – for people unfamiliar with Bottom, it is a BBC comedy show staring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson as flatmates sharing an apartment in Hammersmith. The series aired in the 90s and it was one of the more repulsive things I have seen. Funny, but gross at the same time.
The X Files – The X Files had a number of monsters but I don’t think any one of them put me off my food. Apart from Eugene Tooms. And I like eating liver *shudder*
Blackadder Goes Forth – Blackadder Goes Forth wasn’t disgusting in general. But then there was Baldrick. Bless I love Baldrick but seriously none could test my gross limits like that man. Remember that coffee incident? (I would have put up a video but it was removed from YouTube unfortunately so down below you can find Baldrick’s recipe for coffee). Ewww. And ewww again.
Blackadder: Now Baldrick, fix me some coffee, and make it taste slightly less like mud this time.
Baldrick: Not easy I’m afraid, Sir
Blackadder: And why is this?
Baldrick: ’cause it is mud. We ran out of coffee 13 months ago
Blackadder: Brilliant. So every time I’ve drunk your coffee for the past 13 months, I have in fact, been drinking, hot mud.
Baldrick: With sugar…
Blackadder: …which makes all the difference
Baldrick: Well, it would if we had any sugar, but we ran out New Years Eve 1915. Since when, I’ve been using sugar substitute…
Blackadder: …Which is?
Baldrick: Dandruff. But I could add some milk this time, or, Saliva
Blackadder: No thank you Baldrick. Call me Mr. Picky, but I think I’ll pass.
Baldrick: That’s probably because you’re mad, sir!
Blackadder: Well, quite!How Clean Is Your House – have you ever watched How Clean Is Your House? I love me some Kim and Aggie. In each episode they visit one home which is a pigsty and then clean it top to bottom. And the stuff they found in some of these homes – by no means am I a clean freak but this series is beyond disturbing. It’s not just clutter and dust bunnies, it like years old lard in the fridge, ovens and stoves with mice droppings and all of that before they even do a swab test. Then it’s salmonellas and Escherichias all the way.
Kitchen Nightmares – well title says it all, doesn’t it? Roaches and grease and old meat and indistinguishable food stuff. This particular episode will put anyone (ANYONE!) off from eating out for a while.
So tell me dear readers, are there any particular shows that put you off your food? Please share in the comments below.
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