CouchSlobs - A Monument To Human Idleness

• Don’t mention the war. But if you do, you can always feel a bit better because they did start it first.

• A lot can be explained by saying that the porter is from Barcelona

• Having said that it can also be used as an excuse to hit the aforementioned porter on any given occasion

• The porter on the other hand can get away with almost anything by saying que a lot.

• In grown toenail is good, but in grown tongue would be even better

• A hammer, a hammer sandwich and a hamster are still 3 different things. And no you cannot knock a nail in with a hamster, but you can always try.

• Moose’s head can be used for 2 different things – to give a lobby a touch of class and to snag your cardies on them. Both of which in all probability will greatly annoy your wife.

• Nurse is a sister, but it is not a term of endearment.

• The point of hearing aids is to switch them off. See the battery runs down. Nevermind that you cannot hear anything.

• A bright tie is perfectly acceptable for a funeral if you did not like the person being buried.

• Terms of endearment for your lovely wife – little piranha fish, enormous savage rodent with specialist subject of bleeding obvious.

• You really do not want to cross Basil Fawlty – it might mean you never will waitress in Torquay again.

• Fresh flowers are not necessarily better then the plastic ones. Apart from when the plastic ones are being ironed then fresh ones will do.

• The speaking clock can be engaged even when Sybill Fawlty is not talking to it.

• There is Duck with orange, Duck with cherries and Duck surprise. In case you were wondering Duck surprise is duck without cherries or orange.

• Pigeon, hamster, rat - it can be bloody confusing which is which.

No Comments yet »