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- Don’t mention the war. But if you do, you can always feel a bit better because they did start it first.
- A lot can be explained by saying that the porter is from Barcelona
- Having said that it can also be used as an excuse to hit the aforementioned porter on any given occasion
- The porter on the other hand can get away with almost anything by saying que a lot.
- In grown toenail is good, but in grown tongue would be even better
- A hammer, a hammer sandwich and a hamster are still 3 different things. And no you cannot knock a nail in with a hamster, but you can always try.
- Moose’s head can be used for 2 different things – to give a lobby a touch of class and to snag your cardies on them. Both of which in all probability will greatly annoy your wife.
- Nurse is a sister, but it is not a term of endearment.
- The point of hearing aids is to switch them off. See the battery runs down. Nevermind that you cannot hear anything.
- A bright tie is perfectly acceptable for a funeral if you did not like the person being buried.
- Terms of endearment for your lovely wife – little piranha fish, enormous savage rodent with specialist subject of bleeding obvious.
- You really do not want to cross Basil Fawlty – it might mean you never will waitress in Torquay again.
- Fresh flowers are not necessarily better then the plastic ones. Apart from when the plastic ones are being ironed then fresh ones will do.
- The speaking clock can be engaged even when Sybill Fawlty is not talking to it.
- There is Duck with orange, Duck with cherries and Duck surprise. In case you were wondering Duck surprise is duck without cherries or orange.
- Pigeon, hamster, rat – it can be bloody confusing which is which.
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