CouchSlobs - A Monument To Human Idleness

I do apologize that there is no 80s related post this week, however since Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc was released in 1981 technically it is 80s.
Since I am embracing the geek within and whatnot, I do have a confession to make. I absolutely adore Indiana Jones. When I was younger I actually wanted to be Indiana Jones. But you know with female reproductive system and blond hair. Back in them days there was no Lara Croft plus hot pants I don’t think so. Honestly how can anyone save the world from dark forces with hot pants riding up their bum is beyond me. But I digress.
Yes Indiana Jones. It combined the stuff I loved back then (and still do) – history, archeology, a bit of mystery and great deal of travel to exotic places. And how can you not love Indy? He is like Chuck Norris from the beginning of 20th century. So in my preparation for the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull I have been watching all the Indiana Jones movies. Decidedly geeky, but I am embracing it.
So I present to you 21 things I have learned watching Indiana Jones and by all means if you want to join me and indulge in some Indy love do feel free to add your own contributions.

• It is a bad idea to leave Indiana Jones unattended if you are trying to kill him - the man cannot be killed.
• There are many uses for bullwhip – it can be used as a weapon, it can be used as transportation device or it can be used as a come hither for the ladies.
• There is no language (no matter how obscure) that Indiana Jones is not proficient in.
• The hat stays on no matter what. It is either because Indy is so cool or because it is literally stapled to his head. You decide which.
• Only Indy can drink the blood of Kali and not cross over to the dark side. Well only for a bit and that does not really count.
• Decorative scarves can be the end of you. Especially when they get caught in the stone grinder.
• Speaking of stones, only Indy can lift a humongous rock with only one hand.
• Dark cavernous spaces are usually filled with snakes/bugs/rats or the combination of all 3.
• Having a fist fight next to a moving plane – bad idea. Well bad idea for Indy’s opponent.
• Don’t accept drinks from strangers. No that should go don’t accept drinks from your dodgy business associates.
• Usually people get hurt when jumping out of a window. For Indy there is always an awning to land on.
• Flying on a plane filled with poultry was not a problem back in them days, I mean who ever heard of Avian flu?
• Traveling is not traveling if there is no shot of a map to show your progress with red lines and dots.
• If you don’t fancy eating the Snake surprise or frozen Monkey brains well you better not accept a dinner invitation from a dodgy maharaja.
• When Indy says don’t touch anything you better not touch anything.
• You should never call Indy Junior.
• Lucky charms can sometimes turn unlucky. Or start a fire.
• Remember in Latin Jehovah starts with an I.
• Indy can kill 3 people with a single bullet.
• If there is a booby trap the bad guys always send the unwilling volunteer to go first. Then Indy. Of course the unwilling volunteer dies, Indy survives.
• If you are on a quest to find the Holy Grail, never ever go for the fancy schmancy chalice. When you drink from it, it will give you horrible wrinkles. And oh yes you will turn to dust.

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