CouchSlobs - A Monument To Human Idleness

Just for the record I can barely wait a) for House to start again and b) I wish to good heavens that the blasted strike is already over.

Be as it may my secret indulgence of late is Project Runway. To be quite frank I do love that Tim Gunn, I think he is simply gorgeous (me and my older gay guy crushes seriously it has got to stop).
I know the designers work hard and it takes skill and whatnot, but lets dish the dirt what did you think of last night’s episode.

Kevin – I am sorry to see Kevin go, I thought he was one of the most talented of the bunch. For what is worth I do not think his dress looked cheap, just plain and not up to is usual standard.

Ricky – was it just me or was his dress wonky to one side? And good heavens could someone get that man on testosterone supplements maybe that will stop him from crying.

Kit – now I thought her dress looked a bit bla. For all her talk about edgy and punky and whatnot it sure did not look that way.

Rami – ah Rami. Love his style its very distinctive and the dresses are always impeccable made, but last night it seemed like he did not care much. Thats what happens when you have immunity.

Jillian – was it just me or was something wrong with her dress in the ahem boob area?

Sweet P – to be frank I thought she was out of her league if Hershey challenge was anything to go by. But she really pulled the stops with this one. Too bad she did not win.

Chris – ah my favorite, that Chris is a riot did you see his portfolio? Be as it may, I was a bit worried about him but over the last 2 episodes he has shown some amazing work. And he should have one at least once.

Victorya – I did like the color and the shape but those plastic thingies did not look too appealing. And could someone please steal her chewing gum, her gum chewing is atrocious!

Christian – last but not least. Karma is a bitch isnt it? For someone who has been going around saying how God awful hideous every other dress is it sure bit him in the ass. And it was nice to see someone else was annoying him for a change rather then other way around. The dress was just… beyond me.

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I discovered Red Dwarf a long time ago during the summer while I was preparing for my exams. It soon became a part of my morning ritual, pop down to the shops, make some coffee and then enjoy it while watching the escapades of Lister, Rimmer, Cat and Kryton while they float lost in space. Not to mention there are 8 seasons altogether - that should keep you going for a while until this blasted strike is over.

To make one thing clear Star Trek it aint. Rather think a love child of Battlestar Galatica and Monthy Pyton Flying Circus.

Partners in crime:

Dave Lister – chicken soup machine tehnician
Rimmer – somewhat neurotic hologram
Kryten – although built to be a sanitation mechanoid he serves more as a mechanoid butler
Cat – what became of Lister’s pet cat
Holly – spaceship’s computer that suffers from computer senility

The premise:

A mining spaceship Red Dwarf has a radiation leak that kills everyone aboard, apart from Dave Lister. Lister wakes up from suspended animation to learn he is the sole survivor ad the last human being in space. His cat mutated, the spaceship’s computer went senile and he has to keep company with neurotic hollogram. We’ll that is the gist of it anyway.

3 reasons to watch:

• SciFi sitcom, just coming up with that concept deserves a look
• Although most sitcoms (apart from a rare few) fail the expectation of actually making me laugh Red Dwarf did make my coffee come out of nose on few occassions.
• Arent you curious what would become of your cat and kittens if left to mutate for years on end while you were lost in space?

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Who is the most vile character in TV’s history? And no, people featured on so-called reality shows do not count. It seems that British writers and comedians have mastered the skill of breathing life into characters that are literally vile in everything they do – word, deed and appearance. So I give you tadadada Baldrick from Blackadder and Richie Richard from Bottom.

Definition of the word vile

• Loathsome; disgusting: vile language.
• Unpleasant or objectionable: vile weather.
• Contemptibly low in worth or account; second-rate.
• Of mean or low condition.
• Miserably poor and degrading; wretched: a vile existence.
• Morally depraved; ignoble or wicked: a vile conspiracy.

Baldrick from Blackadder

Role in the series – punching bag and sidekick to Blackadder (although his job description changes through centuries from ex-dung shoveller to septic tank cleaner). Baldrick is also an inventor of ludicrous cunning plans.

General appearance – oh Lord where to even start? All through the centuries Baldrick has a distinctive appearance of a person whose body and clothes have not seen water ever in his life. Blackadder also insists he has never changed his pants. Baldrick is also prone to warts, moles and pimples the size of a small Eastern European country.

Saving grace – dimwitted though he may be there is nothing malicious about Baldrick.

Hobbies – cooking and poetry. Recipe for coffee a la Baldrick - coffee (hot mud), milk (spit), sugar (dandruff) and chocolate sprinkles (I don’t even want to go there).

Richie Richard from Bottom

Role in the series – Richie Richard is a sidekick and only friend to an alcoholic Eddie Hitler. The coined term frienemy would best describe their relationship. Richie also suffers from delusions of grandeur, is a virgin, quite violent and thinks women are lesbians when they do not want to have sex with him.

General appearance – white polyester shirt tucked into his y-fronts, a tie, jeans and sometimes he dons a raincoat. Combine this with his greasy hair and general twitchiness he looks like a man you would cross the street to avoid thinking he might be a flasher.

Saving grace – mothering Eddie

Hobbies – making up elaborate stories and setting his genitalia on fire.

The winner?

I am torn on this one and the competition is tough. But I would have to go with Richie Richard because he truly is vile in every sense of the word. Baldrick although generally dirty and a bit disgusting has a benevolent charm about him that makes you think of a endearing stray dog that you want to pet (although with gloves on).

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All of us Fryers from around the world and beyond are familiar with Mr. Fry’s amazing singing gift. Even in his autobiography “Moab Is My Washpot” he fondly remembers days he spent singing in choirs. He describes, for the lack of a better word, hysteria his singing provoked in listeners with following words: “claw out their inner ears, electrocute their genitals, put on a Jim Reeves record, throw themselves cackling hysterically onto the path of moving buses… anything, anything to take away the pain.”

Moab is My Washpot: Books: Stephen Fry

Mr. Fry’s musical talents do not stop with singing. Less known, but non the less a fact, Stephen is also an accomplished organ tuner. His talent for this craft was discovered quite accidentally at his School Chapel. Passion with which he describes the feelings that flowed through him the first time he touched dip-switch and a valve (get your mind out of the gutter) are unmatched in written word. The result of this talent was unmistakably Fry: “A huge blast­ing fart had emerged in the middle of one of his gentle, meandering doodles and blown back the hair of the first two rows of School House who were sitting in front of the diapason array and had directed at him the most indignant looks.”

A Bit of Fry and Laurie - The Complete Collection… Every Bit!: DVD: Hugh Laurie,Stephen Fry

Stephen’s musical talents flourished under careful supervision of Mr. Hugh Laurie. An accomplished pianist and lyricist, Mr. Laurie, polished Stephen’s voice to perfection. Not only has Mr. Laurie fine-tuned Mr. Fry’s voice, but he also allowed Stephen to incorporate his organ tuning passion in his vocal opus. The best representation of this phenomenal joining of these two musical geniuses is seen in a performance they did as part of a musical spectacle called A Bit of Fry and Laurie. Enjoy!

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Dear faithful readers happy Stephen Fry Appreciation Monday!

Today we will take a look at V for Vendetta.

Can I just say for the record that although Mr. Fry’s work is so varied and extensive I do hope he will agree to an interview before I am forced to see Spice World the movie. I have great affection for Mr. Fry but I do not know if I’ll be able to stomach that.

Oh and yesterday I saw an episode of Extras where our lovely Mr. Fry made a guest appearance. I have to say that man has the most delightful case of floppy hair I have ever seen in my life.

Where was I? Ah yes V for Vendetta. I am a great fan of comic books. They have been integral part of my life ever since I was little. I have actually (and I swear this is the last time ever I bring up potty) learned how to read while sitting on the potty and leafing through my dad’s collection of comic books. And while I do love comic books I do not think they translate well to the movie screen.
My brother is much less demanding on that account – his comment on X-men was “Its Halle Berry in a catsuit, what is there not to like?”. But he did force me to watch V for Vendetta and I’m glad he did.
The Watchowski brothers did a brilliant job with the script, the movie is exquisitely made and visually compelling. The cast includes brilliant Hugo Weaving as V, Natalie Portman, Stephen Rea, John Hurt, Rupert Graves and of course our lovely Mr. Fry.

What are you getting?

• A man in the mask
• A beautiful girl
• A totalitarian government
• Biological experiments
• Torture
• Dialogue in Iambic Pentameter
• Beautiful fireworks and last but not least
• Mr. Fry in pajamas

Remember, remember the 5th of November, the gun powder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gun powder treason should ever be forgot.

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The bad news is the writers are still on strike, the good news is you do not have to be strapped for choice. I said it once and I will say it again – it is not necessary to watch reality TV to get your daily TV fix.

So when I thought about Couch slobs first selection of suggested viewing I thought about which show has been off the air the longest and the hit me – The Office. Ever since Steve Carell developed that infamous (and dare I say ingenious) testicular problem Office fans have been suffering withdrawal symptoms.

My viewing pick would be the Office, but UK version in case you have not seen it yet.

3 reasons to watch The Office UK version:

a) there is a why an American network picked up the idea from the British original – it is damn funny

b) if you are a fan of the Office that means you are accustomed to awkward pauses, non-PC humor and general embarrassment so it will not come as a shock to the system

c) Ricky Gervais‘ performance is astonishing – there is a scene when they all go to a local nightclub and he tries to chat up some unfortunate female; well being on the receiving end of such overtures I can attest such people do actually exist and Ricky Gervais brought on a nasty flashback the man is simply brilliant.

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Goodness gracious me, it is going to be a bleak winter. I have come across the TV Squad’s list of winter TV schedule and let me tell you it does not look good.

There are just a few episode left of Ugly Betty/House/name-any-show-you-might-like the chances are there is almost nothing left. Well apart from Lost and Jericho, the only silver lining. I might check out Medium I did use to watch that once upon a time and see Eli Stone as it looks promising.

And while I do enjoy Project Runway (yes well I have to have a guilty pleasure or two and I loved yesterday’s episode) I refuse to stoop so low as to watch Celebrity Apprentice (tsss did you see the line-up honestly and if Trump says its vicious I can only begin to imagine the actual blood bath). I know its for charity but still.
I think the only worse thing would be Celebrity Rehab… aaaaaaaah who comes up with this turd?

The solution?

Anyhow so I was ruminating what are our options. And while we can all read more books, exercise, socialize and the rest (and I plan to do just that) it does not mean we should go completely cold turkey with our TV fix. So once a week we will tell you about one show you might have missed completely or the first time around. It might be old, it might be new, it might have one season or more, be as it may if you have any suggestions do leave them in the comments below, I might have missed a few myself.

Lets make this winter less bleak and show those network execs Crowned the Mother of All Pageants does not constitute quality viewing.

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Dear faithful readers,

first let me wish you a happy New Years and I hope it will be a great one for all of us, you our faithful readers from all over the world and us here at our little blog. I do apologize for the delay, however I desperately needed the break if nothing else to rest my eyes away from the computer and television screen.

Also big thanks to the kind soul who apparently put our link on Televisionwithoutpity forum, we have been getting a few visitors from there over the last few days, so feel free to get a cup of coffee or tea and get more comfortable, all are welcome here.

Now, on to the main order of business, you did not think I would leave you without your weekly dose of Stephen Fry Appreciation? Just pretend its Monday.

Until recently the concept of audio books was completely lost on me. It is one of the little pleasures in life to get a new book, settle down with a muggers of tea and read a book from cover to cover. My all time record is 24 hours for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (what can I say it has been a long wait and I just could not help myself).
But audio book? What could possibly be the pleasure in that? Little did I know.

I got a delightful brand new mp3 player for a Christmas present and while I was ruminating which music mix I should make for myself, I stumbled upon Harry Potter audio books. Read by Stephen Fry. Well if Stephen Fry reads them I thought it was worth a shot.

And I absolutely love it. See I completely forgotten about my childhood and how I had stack of tapes (I know I’m old) with children stories on them. And the story goes I was prone to singing along to the tunes (as you may remember I cannot sing). So my parents got me a Walkman, put me on the potty thinking

a) I would be distracted by the story and do the ahem business where I’m supposed to and

b) that I would not sing out loud.

Well I did learn to use the potty, however I’m afraid to report the singing did not stop.

And the lovely audio books read by Mr. Fry rekindled the old joy and brought back a piece of my childhood. The only thing I do regret he does not break into a song here and there, we could be tone deaf together.

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