Battle of the Giants – House vs Victor Meldrew

Mirror, mirror on the wall who is grouchiest of them all?

So far in our battle of the giants we have clashed Horatio Caine vs Gill Grissom and battled one tattoo parlor against another, but today we aim to find out who is the grouchiest character that has graced our TV screens. And I would bet good money that for most of you House would be the first name that pops to mind. But is it really so? House’s competition comes in the shape of one Victor Meldrew (for American readers unfamiliar with the show check out One Foot in the Grave), who albeit not a doctor but a pensioner manages to outstage House every single time in the grouchiness stakes. And mind you, he does not even have chronic pain as an excuse.

House

  • Head of the department for diagnostic medicine
  • Only has half a muscle in his right leg, chronic pain, walks with a cane
  • Who is on the receiving end of his rants – Wilson, his team, Cuddy, patients anyone who is foolish enough to come near him
  • Favorite pastime – House enjoys popping Vicodin, pushing buttons (not actual buttons like Locke, but people’s buttons), playing piano and finding new ways to annoy people
  • Favorite catchphrase – You are an idiot; Everybody lies; I need my pills

Victor Meldrew

  • Former security guard, retired after 26 years and replaced with a box
  • No obvious physical aliments, has use of both legs
  • Who is on the receiving end of his rants – wife Margaret
  • Favorite pastime – Victor enjoys collecting crisp wrappers that his neighbors throw over the garden wall, perusing Medical encyclopedia for new illnesses he might be suffering from and performing his magic show Escapology
  • Favorite catchphrase – I dont believe it

Who wins?

The competition is a tough for this category because both of the candidates have grouchiness levels never encountered before. Statistically House has every reason to be grouchy, annoying and abrasive while Victor in all honesty apart from the retirement and being replaced by a box does not have much reason to complain about (if you ignore the crisp wrappers that keep ending up in his garden, Jehovah’s witness that foolishly try to convert him and general state of the world).

But all odds aside and anyone who has ever seen even one episode of “One Foot in the Grave” will back me up on this one when I say House is a grouchiness amateur when compared to Victor.

All hail to Victor Meldrew, the king of grouch!