CouchSlobs - A Monument To Human Idleness

Dear faithful readers, happy Stephen Fry Appreciation Monday!

Today is the day of the International Emmy’s and you might or might not know that Mr. Fry’s splendid documentary “The Secret Life of Manic Depressive” has been nominated in the best documentary category.

I thought about writing a post about that however I decided against it for 2 simple reasons

a) last week has been somewhat crappy for me so I think we need something cheerful and

b) I could not come up with any adequate words apart from absolutely marvelous and that really does not do it justice.

So I have decided to come up with something different.

I have only one question for you – have you been Fry-ed?

How to know you have been Fry-ed

• you suddenly start to remember that long lost and forgotten words drummed into your brain by your English teachers, words I might add you never thought you might even use in a sentence. Some examples that come to mind are: comport, flout

• sudden realization that Mr. Fry has knocked off Michael Palin from the top spot as your favorite documentary maker

• impulsive watching of any program, movie, TV show or series that features Mr. Fry (hell you can even watch V for Vendetta and Spice Girls the movie with new found enthusiasm)

• you start to unload any type of Mr. Fry’s work on unsuspecting friends and family members with words “You simply have to see this” (and more often then not they do enjoy it)

• new found appreciation for all things Apple

• the ability to read one of Mr. Fry’s 8000 words blessays in single sitting even though your eyes are beginning to water from the strain

• you get personally offended when aforementioned friends and family find Moab is my Washpot difficult to follow (I believe my defense was extra exuberant stream of consciousness, I know, I know I don’t know where I come up with this nonsense either)

• you do not find it beneath you to flirt with a spotty youth working at your favorite book store and you do not mind flashing a bit of leg so you can get your hands on a copy of Mr. Fry book (all I will say, thank God I was wearing a skirt since a) it would not be possible to pull the same maneuver in trousers and b)I have little or no cleavage to flash)

• terms such as Damn hot or shpexy that were formerly used to describe easy-on the eye actors (to pull a name out of a hat Hugh Laurie) are used to describe Mr. Fry

These are my symptoms, do you have any? Have you been Fry-ed?

4 Comments »

1. Veronica Mars aka Kristen Bell – ah well it has go to be Veronica Mars hasn’t it? When I was little I thought the coolest career possible would be to be a private eye. And I felt weird for it cos I didn’t want to be a hairdresser (sorry hairstylist) or a beautician like all the other little girls I knew.

Not that there is anything wrong with wanting to make people pretty but hell PI is sooo much cooler! And good 2 decades later comes Veronica Mars and she is everything I ever wanted to be when I was little. With gadgets extraordinaire, wit, humor, snarkiness and that unforgettable taser Veronica Mars really kicked ass.

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer aka Sarah Michelle Geller – ah the favorite of all the nerdy boys all over the world and a few not so nerdy ones either, Buffy went to school by day and kicked some vampire ass by night. The show was so popular, in fact the show is still so popular that there is a comic book and the sing-a-long, not to mention you should see my brother’s face and how he is transported with delight when anyone says “Buffy”… cult following indeed. And Sarah Michelle Geller was announced as sexiest female by Maxim magazine; obviously Buffy still has great power over the male hearts world over.

3. Kate aka Evangeline Lilly – if there is one girl on that God forsaken island that can kick some serious ass then it is Kate. No wonder as hers is the character of a runaway, but still some times I wonder if she perhaps has a bit of surplus of male hormones. If there is anyone that can outrival Sayid or Locke on the kick ass front then its Kate.

4. Niki aka Ali Larter – well in the beginning I thought Niki seemed ordinary enough. OK a bit screwed up and I couldn’t understand why she was forever talking to herself in the mirror. My opinion was that she only had a split personality rather then any hero powers. But soon enough she started to kick some serious ass and continues to do so in the second season of Heroes (or what is left of it with the blasted strike).

5. Miranda Bailey aka Chandra Wilson – so perhaps dr. Bailey does not literally kick ass but goodness gracious me Nazi was an apt nickname (although I would go with Attila the Hun, it seems more appropriate). If there is anyone, anyone on Grey’s anatomy that establish any sort of control on the messed up interns (well residents now) then it is dr. Bailey. And she does not even have to shout (although she does that plenty).

6. Hilda Suarez aka Ana Ortiz – of course Betty is my favorite, but I think Hilda is much neglected kick ass force in the loveable Suarez family. And if there is anyone that could tackle Wilhemina well lets just say my money would be on Hilda.

7. Temperance Brennan “Bones” aka Emily Deschanel – I think I was watching my first ever episode of Bones when this soft spoken forensic anthropologist just swiftly turned around and decked the bad guy in the head. Blink and you would have missed it was over so fast. Move over Jean Claude Van Damme!

8. Ruby aka Katie Cassidy – I have to admit it seemed a bit dubious when the producers of Supernatural were going to introduce 2 new female characters. But then I thought good, perhaps some female hormones will be good for the Winchester boys. While I’m still a bit unclear what is the purpose of their introduction it cant be denied Winchester brothers got some serious competition in the kick ass department.

No Comments yet »

Moonlight! I don’t usually write articles in which I praise shows, but I’ve heard I often focus on the negative and should look at the brighter side of life. So I’ll start this review with shows positive aspects, just to get them out of the way. To start, the opening graphics are really good. The moon with the sparks, although a Heroes rip-off, is one of the best graphics I’ve seen this season. OK, now that we’ve gotten this out of the way, let’s get back to fun.

Seriously!? And I mean, SEROISLY!? Who the fuck are you kidding? WTF! And from Joel Silver the producer of Swordfish, Veronica Mars and The Matrix. What’s going on in Tinsel Town this year? First Barry Sonnenfeld with his Pushing Daisies debacle, and now Joel Silver. Just tell me if this sounds familiar? Touchy-feely vampire in love with hot blond and they fight crime. Give me a bloody break! I would seriously consider this Moonlighting rip-off if it wasn’t such cheap attempt to suck the viewers into watching this turd by using vampires. Furthermore, this is one of those shows where half of the cast isn’t speaking, and not in a contemporary artsy-fartsy way, but in a “if they speak we have to pay them” kind of a way. Just to prove my point, here are a couple of things you can see in this … Moonlight:

1. Forget the coffins, vampires sleep in freezers! - After all vampires are half-dead, so I see why one might believe this is probable. You know decomposition is ever-present these days.
2. Sunlight gives vampires sunstroke! – No, vampires do not burst into flames when exposed to direct sunlight. They get dizzy and hot!
3. The cause of paralysis is stake through the heart! – I’ve heard of burping a baby to cure bad luck, but taking a stake out of your heart to cure polio, that’s just ridiculous. What’s next, taking a stick out of your ass to cure hemorrhoids?
4. People are sheep! – Well, actually this one’s true!
5. The younger the Vampire looks, the older and more powerful he is! – The only reasoning that can explain this theory, proposed by Moonlight, is that they believe vampire nation is lead by bottle suckling infant vampires. I seriously doubt it! To have power you have to have respect, and I for one wouldn’t respect a demon spawn which shits bloody poo in a nappy!

To all of you who envisioned this show, I’ll give a piece of advice I heard in Absolute Power: One man may have a sheen of gleaming star, whilst the lean and the mean have to clean the bar. Go clean the bar!

1 Comment »

Sorry people no blog post today, TV bloggers are supporting the writers strike today. We will be back with our regular scheduling tomorrow (unlike some of our favorite shows).

This is why writers strike and here are the same studio execs who claim there is no future for the Internet media.

Sign the petition to show support and visit United Hollywood for strike updates.

Hypocrisy
noun

1. An expression of agreement that is not supported by real conviction
2. Insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have

Source: WordNet® 3.0.

Greed
noun

1. Excessive desire to acquire or possess more (especially more material wealth) than one needs or deserves
2. Reprehensible acquisitiveness; insatiable desire for wealth (personified as one of the deadly sins)

Source: WordNet® 3.0.

Lie
noun

1. A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
2. Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.

No Comments yet »

Dear faithful readers, happy Stephen Fry Appreciation Monday!

As a copy of Moab is my Washpot arrived much earlier then anticipated and since I have managed to read it in some 48 hours work permitting (with a result of backpain and blurry vision) today we will be looking at Mr. Fry’s autobiography rather then any of his TV or movie work. Not the theme of our blog, but there you have it.

This post again comes with 2 disclaimers

a) I am not a book critic nor do I wish to be and

b) the following presumptions, assumptions and conjectures are my and mine alone and from my limited perspective.

I would love to go on and on about Kuhn and his ideas about perspective, which is jolly good fun, but it has been a while so I don’t want to misinform you plus my old professor would have my ovaries for breakfast. But I digress…

On surface Mr. Fry and I have absolutely nothing in common. Nothing.

There is the age difference of some ahem 20 years. Then there is the completely different reproduction apparatus. Different nationality, different sexual preferences (come to think of it, we have the same preferences as we both like men) and different religious backgrounds (I’m not sure nor it is my business if Mr. Fry practices any religion, but I am lapsed Catholic and there is no mention of him being an altar boy). And then there is the all boy public school (just normal primary and secondary school in my case) and poshy posh Cambridge. I did finish University but it was nowhere near as posh, although I did fart about wonderful Cambridge colleges and their gardens one delightful summer. Tall (him) short (me), blond (me) dark (him). As I said nothing in common.

Why do I stress that so much? Because while I expected to love the book from the get-go, I did not expect for so many of his demons to be my demons, for so many of his traits to be my traits and for so many of his heartaches to be my heartaches. Funny old world isn’t it?

But then there is the crappy at sports bit, cant sing for the life of me (people would pay me to stop) but I can nail down an accent no problem. I just cant sing. In my country we have a delightful saying “you sing like an elephant farted in your ear” yup that’s me. These are just some of the similarities that pulled at my heartstrings as a) I was a bit hormonal that day and b) I have realized once again, it doesn’t matter where we come from, underneath it all we are all unique and same (the great dichotomy yet again). A bit airy fairy for my liking, but what can you do.

It’s not pretty My Washpot, it is not. It is a great read, but it is not pretty. It is messy, angsty, painful and sometimes too close to home for comfort but it’s Mr. Fry as a teenager. In the end it left me with this overwhelming urge to tell him its ok, we were all a bit stupid as teenagers, in fact I can be down right daft at times regardless of my age.

2 Comments »

Goodness gracious me, well none could have predicted this.

It is has not even been a week and the strike has already claimed its first victims.

Which shows are already affected?

Ausiello has this handy list of shows and (oh Lord deep breaths) how many episodes are left

Again Ausiello with scoop that this season of Heroes might end with episode 11

Ellen deGeneres does not support her writers as E Online reports

Office is closed for business, show forerunner Greg Daniels joins the picket line so does Steve Carrell

24 postponed indefinitely as Hercules reports

What are the networks doing?

NBC will lay off non-writing staff next week if Leno does not return, aren’t they nice? Another option guest hosts.

LA Times has this report, people might be out of jobs as early as next week

Apparently Schwarzenegger is negotiating between writers and the execs

Who is on the picket line?

Cast of Ugly Betty on the picket line

Cast of Grey’s on the picket line

If you want to learn more about the reasons behind the strike I would recommend United Hollywood, it has daily reports from the picket line this one was my particular favorite

Also Kung Fu Monkey is a good read, straight from the mouth of a writer

What you can do?

Sign the petition to show support

Stop downloading as wannabetvwriter suggests

1 Comment »

• Its frak not f*ck

• Its Gods not God

• Whatever humans invent it will come to bite them in the ass

• You can not kill a Cylon, well you can but its complicated and you need either Starbuck or Apollo to go after the baseship

• It is a bitch that Cylons never get tired, so they can come after you again and again and again… well you get the picture.

• Skin job is politically incorrect term for a humanoid Cylon

• If you have sex with someone and their spine lights up, you just had sex with a Cylon

• If you suddenly start to have black outs and you cant remember where you have been there is good news, bad news and some more bad news– good news is you are not an alcoholic, bad news is you most probably are a Cylon, some more bad news is something may blow up any minute now

• Likewise the best way to learn if you are a Cylon is to have someone shoot you. If you wake up in a pool of goo you are a Cylon. If not - tough luck.

• If you are still doubtful if you are a Cylon or not and you start hearing music there is good news and bad news – good news is you are not having hallucinations, bad news is you are a Cylon

• Cylons have feelings too and they are even more messed up then humans (ie Six fell in love with Baltar and tried to convert him, need more proof?)

• Cylon raider might look cool on the outside but has guts on the inside… and they are gross

• Have Cylon virus in your main frame? That is why its good to have a Cylon on board, you just plug in him/her and you are good to go

• Food of the future sucks (did you see those horrible green noodles and don’t even get me started on that algae business)

• Gaius Baltar can weasel his way out of anything

• It is good and acceptable to have imaginary friends no matter how old you are, just look at Gaius Baltar

• Starbuck can get into all sorts of shit and still survive

• Likewise no matter how suicidal or plain impossible the mission seems rest assured Stabuck can pull it off

• One nut the Cylons will never crack is Saul Tigh but he is a Cylon so it doesn’t count

• If you are a Battlestar Galactica newbie don’t watch all of first season back to back a) its highly addictive and b) your eyes will start to water from the strain.

No Comments yet »

Reading Washpot has got me thinking, what book would you like to see made in a movie?

It is a bit of a problem for me, not only am I a snarky cow, but I can be a nitpicker so if by chance a book I do like gets to be made in a movie… well lets just say I greatly dislike it when they don’t stick to the plot. Now that does get my knickers in a twist.

Books that made good movies

Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk made a great movie, one of my all time favorites in fact. This might be cheating a bit, as Shawshank Redemption was made based on a short story by Stephen King, but still it is another all time favorite (Green Mile wasn’t half as bad as well).

Then there was Lord of the Rings, and although I am not SUCH a huge fan of Tolkien still it was nice to see something I have read as a child so meticulously made. I’m sure if it were any director but Peter Jackson it would have been butchered.

I do love Harry Potter and I did love the first few movies, but the last one was simply appalling. It felt like they took all the bad bits from the book and ignored the good bits. And no disrespect to Michael Gambon but in my mind Dumbledore will always have a face of Richard Harris (in or out, dead or alive).

Books that made good mini-series

Mini-series is a good way to bring a book to the screen. The time span is somewhat longer then a regular movie (although nowadays if a movie is less then 2 and half hours I do feel robbed).

Agatha Christie was one of my favorite authors when I was growing up, so I’m still a stickler for her adaptations with David Suchet. Then there is of course P. G. Wodehouse with his Jeeves and Wooster in somewhat similar vein.

And then there is Stephen King. Anyone who has ever read Stand, how do you transfer all of that on screen without enraging fans and faithful readers? Some attempts were good (Tommyknockers) while some were plain disastrous (It).

Book that would make a great movie

Ben Elton’s Dead Famous. Maybe it is not the best piece of literature ever written, but it would make an excellent movie. A most thrilling whodunit – murder takes place live on air of a reality show and still the killer is elusive. Don’t worry it is not about anything paranormal, just brilliantly clever.

Besides his book Inconceivable was made into a pretty decent movie Maybe baby (all House fanatics beware!) with Hugh Laurie.

And a man who wrote Black Adder cant do no wrong in my book.

So which book would you like to see on the big screen?

2 Comments »

I do apologize our faithful readers I have been so absorbed in my copy of Moab is my Washpot that I have a horrible case of back pain although I didn’t break my record (I have managed to read the last Harry Potter book in 24 hours). My head is so full of Mr. Fry’s adolescent’s troubles it is difficult to concentrated.

So instead of giving you a brief summary of the book, I will give you something else some interesting stories I have stumbled upon, so you can click away.

Deadline Hollywood Daily brings great stories from the picket lines in Hollywood, my favorite being the chant “More Money – Less Moonves” now that gave me a good giggle (Moonves was the one who allegedly cancelled Veronica Mars, glad to know I’m not the only one holding a grudge against the man)

Some good news straight from Ausiello - Enrico Colantoni is guest staring on Numbers, yay!

For all the boys - TV Squad brings you the list of TV’s hottest women over 40

Kristen from Eonline talks about Heroes and the rumor Tim Kring was fired from the show

TV with MeeVee talks about what 24 can learn from Prison Break

Jon Steward is mighty decent although they are trying to cover it up

Oh and I have a request as well. You know that I am a Talky blog fan… you know Ross Mathews from the Tonight Show… anyhow he is up for 2007 Webaward as a best celebrity blogger. So you can click here and vote for Ross, I mean I would not be able to stand it if Donald Trump got more votes, Ross is much funnier (among other things). No, I will leave it alone, this begs for a wise crack of some sort, so I will just keep quiet.

So this is it people, I have to get back to my washpot.

No Comments yet »

As it is Monday, once again it is:

Stephen Fry Appreciation Day

I want to apologize to you all. I sat down a couple of hours ago to write this article and it simply didn’t go right. I started writing about QI, Mr. Fry’s game show. I finished writing about Moab Is My Washpot and in the middle I called all Germans a Highfalutin Jerrys; myself, by Mr. Fry’s pet word, a Cunt; USA and Paris Hilton were mentioned here and there; Starbucks and so on. All and all, a UN of insults and profanities.

So instead I decided to write this public service announcement. I know our illustrious Mr. Fry will appreciate this effort. November is a National Novel Writing Month. The idea behind this is for every single one of us to write a novel in November. It doesn’t have to be good, just sit your overgrown ass down and write 50.000 words. Don’t edit, just write. Get it down to paper, or computer file, your choice. See what it takes to write a novel. All dozen or so of you who are reading this post join me and we will do it together. Go to National Novel Writing Month website and pledge. Be my writing buddy and we’ll do it together. It’s not late to join and start typing. If nothing else you will be able to say you have a first draft of a novel. Type people, type!

No Comments yet »