Things I have learned watching Battlestar Galactica

  • Its frak not f*ck
  • Its Gods not God
  • Whatever humans invent it will come to bite them in the ass
  • You can not kill a Cylon, well you can but its complicated and you need either Starbuck or Apollo to go after the baseship
  • It is a bitch that Cylons never get tired, so they can come after you again and again and again… well you get the picture.
  • Skin job is politically incorrect term for a humanoid Cylon
  • If you have sex with someone and their spine lights up, you just had sex with a Cylon
  • If you suddenly start to have black outs and you cant remember where you have been there is good news, bad news and some more bad news– good news is you are not an alcoholic, bad news is you most probably are a Cylon, some more bad news is something may blow up any minute now
  • Likewise the best way to learn if you are a Cylon is to have someone shoot you. If you wake up in a pool of goo you are a Cylon. If not – tough luck.
  • If you are still doubtful if you are a Cylon or not and you start hearing music there is good news and bad news – good news is you are not having hallucinations, bad news is you are a Cylon
  • Cylons have feelings too and they are even more messed up then humans (ie Six fell in love with Baltar and tried to convert him, need more proof?)
  • Cylon raider might look cool on the outside but has guts on the inside… and they are gross
  • Have Cylon virus in your main frame? That is why its good to have a Cylon on board, you just plug in him/her and you are good to go
  • Food of the future sucks (did you see those horrible green noodles and don’t even get me started on that algae business)
  • Gaius Baltar can weasel his way out of anything
  • It is good and acceptable to have imaginary friends no matter how old you are, just look at Gaius Baltar
  • Starbuck can get into all sorts of shit and still survive
  • Likewise no matter how suicidal or plain impossible the mission seems rest assured Stabuck can pull it off
  • One nut the Cylons will never crack is Saul Tigh but he is a Cylon so it doesn’t count
  • If you are a Battlestar Galactica newbie don’t watch all of first season back to back a) its highly addictive and b) your eyes will start to water from the strain.

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