October 11th 2007
Things I have learned from watching… House
- House is always right
- All patients lie
- You can have a heart attack in your leg.
- It is not a drug problem, it is pain management problem.
- One illness you most definitely do not have is lupus.
- It is not an illness but a mystery.
- You are in hospital not to recover but to entertain the doctor.
- If you have an MRI chances are you are most likely to have a seizure/bleed from any given orifice/hear voices/pass out.
- Your brain can be on fire.
- You heart will stop at least once while in hospital.
- You will have at least one lumbar puncture while in hospital.
- You will have at least one biopsy while in hospital.
- Your eye can explode.
- If doubtful about diagnosis, start treatment anyway and watch what happens.
- Prolonged use of Vicodin will mess up your bladder.
- Doctors often do not scrub in.
- Do not stuff a thermometer in people’s bottoms because a) you might forget it and b) the person with a thermometer up his arse might be a cop
- Doctors only know other doctors.
- Doctors only shag other doctors.
- Do not stick knives in electrical sockets.
