Archive for September, 2007

September 27th 2007

Private Practice – Public Disappointment


This will not be long. And simply because Private Practice, in the format presented yesterday evening, simply doesn’t deserve my time. I just have one question: What’s happening with Shonda Rhimes? After excellent first and second season of Gray’s Anatomy everything went to hell and now it coming back. I was really excited about this show, but I have to say it is absolutely disappointing. It wasn’t even that bad that I would want to see it again. Truly, truly disappointing!

The show is so bad I can’t even properly describe what it’s about. Six people divided into three groups repeating three sentences for fourthly some minutes. Oh, apparently I can describe it. It is like some obscure Ibsen drama performed by non-entity’s in Twilight Zone. Bad Shonda! Bad! Bad!


NOTE TO SELF: Oh, forget it, there’s nothing funny I can write here. If you want to laugh find a picture of Britney or Paris showing their cooch!


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September 27th 2007

Boston Legal – Shakes The Tail Father


As I wrote in my previous article, I was seriously afraid of the influence new charters will have on Boston Legal, but boy o girl (politically correct as always) was I wrong. Season premiere, broadcast last night, was one of the top 10 episodes ever. As all dozen or so of you know, I mock everything and everyone, but when it comes to this episode I’m speechless. No, seriously, I’m speechless. The comedy was in right places, the same with drama; acting was above average, but that’s what I would expect from the cast; and above all the celebration of life, for which I’m sticking with this show, was there in abundance. In essence this show asks all of us: “Is it fun being you?” Well, is it?

If the answer is no, get a friend and create your own balcony moment. (For those that haven’t watched Boston Legal, at the end of every episode two main characters take five minutes or so and celebrate their lives.) By all means make your life fun. Apparently cross-dressing helps.


NOTE TO SELF:
Get a pink Hello Kitty dress! Preferably something to show of our great legs. You can pull it off!


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September 25th 2007

Discover the secrets of the NINJAS


It was during recent discussion that I realized the lack of knowledge in general public regarding the Ninjas. Although they’ve been popular for decades, people actually don’t know much about Ninjas. So I decided to educate the readers about several lesser-known Ninja mysteries. By doing this I endanger my very existence, but that just shows how dedicated I am.

Ninjas of the World, Unite!

It is a popular belief that Ninjas originate from Japan. Actually, Ninjas work and play in Hong Kong (“Ninja Terminator”), the Phillipines (“American ninja”, Enter the ninja”), China (“Ninja Dragon”), West Coast (”Ninjas, Condors 13″) and just about everywhere else except Japan. Wimpiness of Japanese Ninjas became a well-known fact when, in the movie “Last Samurai Was in Fact an American Scientologist”, Tom Cruise managed to defeat over a dozen ninjas after studying samurai sword fighting for 15 minutes.

Most of the Ninjas are Asian, but it is a well-known fact that all of the best Ninjas are actually Caucasians. Who doesn’t remember such paragons of perfection as Franco Nero or Richard Harrison, or even that phony, Michael Dudikoff? Rare exceptions from this rule are Sho Kosugi, star of “Nine Deaths of a Ninja” and Alexandar Lou from “Ninjas, Condors 13″.

Ninja Sounds

People say that Ninjas are awfully silent, but in reality, they produce even more sounds than common people. When jumping and flying, their clothes sounds like a helicopter propeller (which just might explain Ninjas’ ability to fly) while some people claim that even Ninja face expressions have sounds of their own, no matter do they smile (”Heh!”), drink wine (”GULP! GULP!”) or think (”Hmh!”, “Grumble!”, “Uh?”, “Huh!”, “Mnh.” “Eh?” – Ninjas are deeply philosophical beings).

Ninja kinetics

It’s easy to underestimate Ninjas when you see him running in tiny steps with his palm carefully positioned in front of his chest. Many have made the same mistake and died. This way of movement hides other, far more potent modes of traveling: ninjas can also burrow under the ground, teleport and turn invisible at will.

Tools of the Ninja Trade

Ninjas’ main weapon is what the simpletons call “the sword”. Correct expression is, of course, “Ninja Sword”. Ninjas also often use Ninja Stars. But this only begins to describe Ninjas’ arsenal. Always the masters of adaptation, Ninjas also use Ninja Slingshots, Ninja Revolvers, Ninja Machine-Guns and special Ninja Grenades whose effects on Ninja-looking mannequins are frightening.

Ninjas: color-coded for your conveniance

Another common folly regarding the Ninjas is that they dress in black to hide better. This is ridiculous as Ninjas like nothing more than to dress in all colors of the rainbow. But, aside of being a fashion statement, these colors also carry important messages.

White Ninjas – as you can see, good Ninjas enjoy dressing in white. Yes, there is a Ninja on this picture! Look again! Remember that Ninjas are masters of deception! It might take you a while, but don’t give up!

Colorful Ninjas – usually evil. They all might wear same colors or not - their color coordination is irrelevant: The playground from the picture might look like a fun park, but if you stumble upon it while strolling the park, pray Heavens to send you a White Ninja.

Colorful Ninja – now, this is a tricky category. Is he good? Is he evil? Moral conundrums abound!The safest way to learn the truth would be for you to wait and see will the Colorful Ninja kill you or not.

Finally, all the Ninjas have magical ability of rapid clothes change. The change is achieved by secretion of the magical Ninja smoke which Ninjas - always shy creatures - use to rapidly change into full battle dress.

Lesser known Ninja fashion trend is wearing elegant tin foil ornaments. Instead of ugly face masks, this style promotes bandanas that proudly state Ninja’s occupation. For some strange reason, this style never became popular.


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September 23rd 2007

Battle of TV Giants: LA Ink vs. Miami Ink

I’m not a big fan of reality TV. I am actually fascinated by people who religiously follow Big Brother or similar shows. I was never really interested in watching dozen or so people talking crap for three months; and it especially irritates me when people in question are dumber that those rats in Meerkat Manor. Turd, Turd, Turd.

Although, I avoid reality shows, like Britney Spears avoids rehab, I found some substance in these tattooing shows. While Miami Ink has been on TLC’s schedule for some time now, Kat Von D’s LA Ink is a recent addition to reality TV craze. To be completely honest, you know I have a problem expressing my opinion; last season of Miami Ink was a disappointment. I have a feeling that guys in Miami got in a sort of a runt from which they can’t get out. They abandoned their proven concept of art and customers stories first, than our lives; for the one that concentrates totally on them and their personal problems, rather than tattooing which has become something of a distraction in their daily lives. I have a feeling that the show is more and more concentrating on owner’s bar than tattoo parlor. The show should be called Miami Drink, not Miami Ink.

On the other hand Kat von D has taken good old concept and made it better by bringing on board great artists, hot woman and celebrities. Actually she has made a spinoff more interesting than the original show. Artists are spectacular as they should be (nobody wants to see bad tattoos) and visiting celebrities are a nice touch. Oh, and have I mentioned there are hot women in the show.

So, in this Battle of TV Giants I have to declare the winners: Gals and Guy at LA Ink.

NOTE TO SELF: Get a big ass tattoo. Ladies like it, at least LA ladies do!


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September 22nd 2007

Heroes countdown - only 2 days left!


There are only 2 days left until the brand new episode of Heroes tssss can you imagine?

Anyhow although I want to watch the first episode of season 2 without knowing anything, well apart from that Veronica Mars sorry Kristen Bell will be in it there are some extra cool clips on the net so check it out…

This one is from the shoot for EW and these are few that were posted by Adrian Pasdar on Youtube. But this one is by far my favorite HIRO YAY!

Source: Pop Candy

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September 21st 2007

You Stupid Woman! – What About “‘Alo ‘Alo”


Good Moaning, Berta!

How could have you forgotten ‘Alo ‘Alo? Undoubtedly one of the greatest TV shows of all times! Their visionary humor preformed in three languages at the same time made TV history. This was the first time a TV show was simultaneously broadcast in French, German and English. Truly a visionary move on the part of producers! For all of you in Internetland who don’t know what I’m talking about, well producers invented new technology that enabled actors to speak all three languages. A universal translator, of sorts; but the one that only works in EU. The technology didn’t need any machinery or electricity, all the actors had to do was speak English but with German, French or British accent; and we all understood them. OK, maybe it’s not technology per se; but it works and if EU implemented this they would save a bundle on translation fees. And seriously, like German politicians don’t have to learn German accent, they already have it! Genius! Ahead of its time my friends, ahead of its time!

NOTE TO SELF: Patent EU universal translator.



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September 21st 2007

Must see TV - the best of British comedy


Only Fools and Horses

Why do I love Only Fools and Horses, let me count the ways. I still cant decide who I like best - Delboy cos of his Brut aftershave and delightfully bad French, Rodney for his general gawkiness and boyish good looks (yeah I realize I am strange), Grandpa with his filthy hat or uncle Albert and his “During the war” line. British comedy at its best. I have grown up on this stuff and I cannot recommend it more profusely. There are 3-wheel vans, exploding blow up dolls, quips, wit and British sarcasm, what more could you possibly want? It has been voted as the best British sit come ever.



Red Dwarf

Oh this is another good one. I started watching it by chance during one summer break. The story plot is about a ship that is drifting through deep space. You have Lister (whos from Liverpool and eats a lot of vindaloo), Rimmer (hes a pompous git and a hologram) and Kryten (mechanoid). Oh and I forgot Cat (hes basically a human mutation of Lister’s cat). Anyhow hilarious. Even though I generally don’t like Sci-Fi (well apart from Battlestar Galactica)

Monthy Python

It is pointless to explain the Monthy Python, I mean if you haven’t watched it ever, well… it is popular culture after all.





Black Adder

Want to see what Mr. Laurie did before he became my favorite curmudgeon and America’s favorite doctor? Then watch Black Adder, he does a mean Prince of Wales (no, I don’t mean the current one) but also in the last season hes quite fancy in a dress. Got to love them you’ll never see a normal, decent British actor a) shy away from making a twit out of himself b) shy away from wearing a dress.

Rowan Atkinson is simply brilliant, perhaps I got so used to him as Mr. Bean that I forget there is more to him then slapstick comedy.

And Baldrick, oh disgusting, thick, absolutely lovely Baldrick and his “cunning plans”. Voted second most popular sitcom of all times in Britain.



One Foot in the Grave

Oh Victor Meldrew is my second favorite grouch (tsss of course House is the first – OMG I just realized, whats with me and the grouches, I must be masochistic). Anyhow a story about a grumpy pensioner and his wife. I know, I know, it doesn’t sound like much, but trust me it is. Rip-roaringly funny.

Absolutely Fabulous

Who does not know about Edwina and her faithful sidekick Patsy? Aaaah. I would be hard stretched to tell you my favorite Ab Fab moment. Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders and a host of reoccurring characters make this a must see for any self-respecting lover of British humor. Absolutely Fabulous is absolutely hilarious.


Yes, Minister

Bureaucracy, corruption, inefficient civil service, very and I mean very clever but which is more astounding (and I have found that out just now) based on some real situations. But then again life can be so ridiculous sometimes, are you surprised? Anyhow, it is about a minister (later in the series he becomes the Prime minister) who has to deal with the machinery that is British civil service. Of course general opinion is that he is a bit of a twit. Hm should I mention this, Margaret Thatcher was a fan.


Fawlty Towers

Aaaah, John Cleese, he can be annoying at times cant he? But I love him much the same. I watched Fawlty Towers marathon one weekend when I had the flu, I almost chocked cos my nose was blocked and I laughed so hard and the snot… well you get the idea.

Mix a small seaside hotel, crazy owner and his more stable wife, Spanish waiter that speaks bad English and semi-normal receptionist, throw in a few crazy regulars and you get Fawlty towers.




Are you being served?

One of the golden oldies but I do love it. About a department store in London with a cast of characters so diverse it makes for some giggle inducing situations. I did like Mr. Humphries (him for his voice) and Mrs Slocombe (her for her hair) the best.


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September 20th 2007

Back To You Will Come Back To My TV

I always thought that sarcasm,pompousness and bad sex jokes are excellent recipe for a really good show. Back To You is not revolutionary in any way. Story about two people who are after several years joined together again is not new in TV circles, but the chemistry between Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton takes the show to a whole new level. Their performances shouldn’t even be commented on. They are all we ever expected from them. Also, it would be unfair not to mention Fred Willard. His specific type of sarcasm and wit make every show he appears in a bit more enjoyable. This is the first sitcom in long time I laughed out loud at. No, truly I laughed out loud. If you liked Frasier you will enjoy Back To You.

NOTE TO SELF: Apparently driving after 6 Tequila shots could be dangerous. Do some more research!


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September 19th 2007

Gossip Girl - Perez Hilton Meets O.C. and One Tree Hill

This is why illustrious CW execs canceled Veronica Mars? For this half baked teen drama that has no substance at all, we lost a show like Veronica Mars. I’m only half way through the show any I’m bored out of my mind.

There is absolutely no purpose for this show. We’ve seen it dozens of times and in most instances they were bad and didn’t last. To be honest Gossip Girl does innovate. They take alcohol and drug abuse to a whole new level. From the first episode all of the spoiled brats are too stoned and too drunk to remember their own names; so to address each other they use only first letters of their names. So there are characters like B. and S. and they are best friends and worst enemies. S. or B. has slept with B.’s or S.’s boyfriend, and like this is like the biggest problem in the world, like. Seriously, people!

Dear writers/producers I’ll use words you understand. Like, stop re-writing old canceled show, ’cause they have been like canceled, ’cause they have been like bad and they are like no good and we like don’t like them anymore! Like, not all of us want to be like Britney Spears! Like! Bring back Veronica Mars!

NOTE TO SELF: Get fixed, immediately!!!

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September 17th 2007

Emmy award winners


Well it has got to be indigestion, as I have only managed to get 2 picks right. Ah well. I can understand why they have given Sopranos the Emmy for the best drama series, but I do think Heroes were robbed.

Also James Spader? I have nothing against the guy, however I was 100% sure James Gandolfini would take it home because well a) he is a good actor b) Sopranos is over. I do wonder how do you accept an award when you have Tony bleeding Soprano sitting there, come on he has smashed heads for less.

I’m glad Locke, sorry Terry Quinn had won even though 3rd season of Lost was not my favorite by any measure. He has stared in numerous TV series, but Lost really gave him an opportunity to shine. There is a thin line between lunacy and brilliance and he has managed to embody it almost flawlessly in the character of Locke.

Ricki Gervais was the only winning Brit of the night (good on him, he is brilliant). I do hope this does get Hugh Laurie even more depressed. You are excellent Hugh dear, you don’t need a bunch of stuffy old foggies to tell you are talented.

Now Katherine Heigl has won for best supporting actress. I did find her a bit irritating in the last season of Greys but I guess that can be down to her dramatic acting or something. However I could never quite understand what exactly happens when you have people from the same series competing in the same category. I mean surely there must have been some scuffles breaking out. Just imagine a catfight between Katherine Heigl and Sandra Oh, hm I wonder who would win? Or a fistfight between Terry O’ Quinn and Michael Emerson? I do think Locke would win that one.

List of winners

Outstanding Drama Series: The Sopranos

Outstanding Comedy Series: 30 Rock

Outstanding Lead Actor in A Drama Series: James Spader, Boston Legal

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: America Ferrera, Ugly Betty

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series:Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Ricky Gervais, Extras

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama: Terry O’Quinn, Lost

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series: Katherine Heigl, Grey’s Anatomy

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