Summer TV confessions of a tetchy cow

Dear ladies and gents,

last week we had a bit of a heatwave going on. Most of Europe did. We got a few days of respite where it was blessedly cool in the mornings and evenings. And even though today it was raining, another heatwave is predicted for this week (am slightly obsessed with both of the weather apps on my phone).

I do not do well in warm weather. At all. I do not understand why British people complain about theirs. MOAR RAIN PLEASE!

Can’t eat, can’t function properly, can do sh*t all apart from the bare minimum. 37°C (98.6F for our American friends) does that to me.

tl; dr

I am currently a tetchy cow, so bare that in mind.

OMG. WTF with the True Detective? I was all like True Detective started – YAY something to watch! And it’s been utter rubbish. I case you haven’t gotten round to it yet let me tell you – you aren’t missing anything. Because nothing happens. At all. I don’t understand what is the point of having this freaking great cast. And have them do nothing. But just kinda spout rubbish I could have written.

So at this point a normal person, a smart person, would just give up on TV altogether. To be fair, I have been reading loads more. But then I get annoyed at how the book ends (that’s another story altogether).

But no. Noooooooo.

I did what any not-sane person would do. I switched over to Hannibal.

Which is… I normally like Hannibal. But omg (OMG!) what is it with the freaking water/blood/whatever dripping? And it’s not only occasionally, it all. the. freaking. time. Also snails? I mean by the time they crawl to whatever the hell they are going I want to tear my hair out. Also – da f*ck with kaleidoscopic scenes?

Can I be frank?

I will be frank with you.

I don’t have an effing clue what the hell is going on. There it is, my secret is out.

Most of the time I’m just

I will tell you this much though. The fight between Jack and Hannibal? A thing of beauty.

And you know, a fight is well and good. But Jack could have saved himself a whole lot of trouble if he did one thing. Just one thing.

Threatened Hannibal with some refined sugar. That would have him running for the hills. Or curling up in a fetal position.

That’s where I’m at ladies and gents.

I will be on the balcony. Cooling off my feet and armpits respectively.

Summer UK TV Shows

Dear ladies and gents,

I haven’t done one of these posts in a while. Down below is a short selection of some of the TV shows airing in the UK at the moment.

The Interceptor

I quite liked the Interceptor. It is a crime drama type of series that BBC does so well. Written by Tony Saint, it is about super secret Undercover Narcotics Investigation Team that hunts down the UK’s most wanted criminals. It stars O. T. Fagbenle and Trevor Eve (of Waking the Dead fame).

Not Safe For Work

Not Safe For Work is a black comedy starring Zawe Ashton as a civil servant who works on the immigration issues. Due to the budget cuts she gets transferred to the office in Northampton. Once she gets there, it turns out her new boss is her former protege. And the department hasn’t done any work at all over the past 2 years.

Humans

Jointly produced by Channel 4 and AMC Humans is based on the Swedish series Äkta människor (Real Humans). It is about a future where the latest gadget is a Synth. Which is an android robot you need around the house to do stuff for you. Obvs people wouldn’t be people if they didn’t use the synths for all sorts of nefarious reasons. And obvs it wouldn’t be a tv show if the synths didn’t start feeling things/rebelling. Saw the first episode and it’s not bad. It stars William Hurt and Katherine Parkinson (Jen off the IT Crowd).

No Offence

No Offence is a crime/drama/comedy hybrid series about the officers working for the Manchester Metropolitan Police. The team is led by D.I. Viv Deering (played by Joanna Scanlan) and they are investigating a serial murder who is killing girls with the Down syndrome in Manchester.

Returning shows

Strike Back

Strike Back is well.. back for it’s fifth and final season. Based on the novel written by former SAS soldier Chris Ryan, it follows the members of Section 20 on their super secret mission around the globe. A solid choice for all the thriller/military/spy buffs who enjoy this type of thing.

Vicious

Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi are back. You need to know more? They play a bickering gay couple who have been together for 48 years. Like you care – it’s Ian McKellen!

Man Down

Greg Davies stars as Dan, a man who loathes his job as a teacher. Unfortunately Rik Mayall (who played Dan’s dad) passed away and he was supposed to have a more prominent role in the second season.

My Mad Fat Diary

My Mad Fat Diary is based on the book written by Rae Earl. It follows the story of a 16-year old Rae Earl who is trying to adjust to her everyday life after spending 4 months at a psychiatric hospital. The series was a breakthrough hit for Channel 4 and this will be the show’s last season. Also – the American version is already in the works (facepalm)

Last but not least…

I know, it’s a TV show about cars, but who the hell cares – it’s Idris freaking Elba!

Idris Elba No Limits

Game changers – Wayward Pines

Dear ladies and gents,

I mentioned Wayward Pines a few weeks ago.

I’ll add a page break in html now so you’ll have to click through if you want to read the rest of the post. I don’t normally do this, however…

There will be a huge ass spoiler in this post and if you haven’t seen Wayward Pines, I’d rather you didn’t hear it from me? See it unspoiled? I am aware you can google that sh*t, but I don’t want to be the one who spoils it for you? Does that make sense?

tl; dr DON’T CLICK HERE IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN WAYWARD PINES.

Continue reading

In the movies

Dear ladies and gents,

over the last 2 weeks I have managed to see two movies. Short reviews of both below.

Spy

I like Melissa McCarthy a lot. Loved her in Bridesmaids, loved her in St. Vincent, LOVED the Heat. Identity Theft? Tammy? Not so much.

I saw the trailer for Spy and I laughed a lot. And I have to say, it doesn’t disappoint. Comedy in my opinion is one of the hardest things to get right. What tickles me might not tickle anyone else. And vice versa. For example – Hangover (and all the subsequent installments)? I don’t think I laughed once. I just couldn’t understand what the fuss was about. The worldwide gross? $467 million. So what do I know?

But Spy is funny. Hilariously funny. Laugh yourself into a belly ache funny. And everyone involved was bloody brilliant – Melissa McCarthy, Rose Bryne, Miranda Hart, Allison Janney. Although to be fair – I knew these ladies can do good comedy. Jason Statham on the other hand? Didn’t have a clue he could be funny. But there you go. Also Jude Law was in it? It should tell you something about the level of performance here when Jude Law was more a blip on the screen. I was all like – oh hey Jude Law you are in this too whatever. And Jude Law is not a bad actor. So if you need cheering up or if you want to treat your mum to a good movie she might enjoy or if you want a break from all the lets-blow-up-everything-to-bits blockbusters, Spy is your movie.

Which brings me to…

Jurassic World

I feel I need to preface this by saying a few things:

- I really love Chris Pratt, I think he is funny and I’m delighted he has 3 huge hits under his belt.
- I am aware that Jurassic World is a monster of a movie worldwide (all pun intended).
- I really love Jurassic Park.

All that said – I disliked Jurassic World. I didn’t hate it, I just thought it was meh. To a point where I kinda actively wished that dinosaurs ate all the humans because omg-what-the-effing-f*ck-where-the-effing-humans-thinking? I’m sure it makes more sense in my head.

The jokes were lame. So lame. I was side-eyeing that sh*t so hard. But there was a bunch of “bros” sitting in the cinema in front of us who were laughing uproariously throughout the movie. Hardest of all I might add when Bryce Dallas Howard was running around in heels (which… UGH don’t even get me started on that damsel in distress sh*t).

One of bros is a movie critic (!!!) So surely (surely!!!) he saw the first movie. Surely he realized it was far superior to this one. Alas. I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t enjoy it as the bros in front of me. Then I got home, googled some reviews and obvs I’m in the minority here.

Jurassic World is a summer blockbuster. Or rather the blockbuster of this summer. But in my opinion it lacks all the oomph the original movie had. Also? Lame. And I freaking love dinosaurs.

But what do I know.

I have since then re-watched Jurassic Park. And it’s still awesome.